motivation – Journey on Yourself

Leadership Is a Stewardship, Not a Status

Four times a year I travel throughout my territories to meet with my brokers in council meetings. Multiple times a year I’m on stage speaking at academies, retreats, and training events. Other days you’ll find me sitting across a desk from a broker, talking through challenges, solving problems, celebrating wins, or helping them navigate difficult decisions. I never take those opportunities lightly. Every single time I prepare for a meeting, I pray. Not because I want to sound good or deliver the perfect presentation, but because I ask God for one thing, and that is to help me deliver something of value.

I never want someone to leave one of my meetings thinking that was a waste of my drive, or that was a waste of my time away from my office. The worst thing they could say is that was a waste of an afternoon I’ll never get back. People are giving me something they can never get back and that is their time. That means I owe them my preparation. I study. I research. I think through every agenda. I ask questions before I arrive. I pray over what needs to be said and what doesn’t. Sometimes the most important thing I bring isn’t what’s on my PowerPoint, it’s the encouragement someone desperately needed or the difficult conversation that helps them grow.

Leadership isn’t showing up and hoping you inspire someone. Leadership is preparing so you can serve someone. John Maxwell says that leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. So what are you trying to influence?

The higher you climb in leadership, the greater your responsibility becomes. People are watching. They’re listening. They’re trusting you with their businesses, their careers, their families, and sometimes even their confidence. That’s a weight we should never take casually. Whether you’re leading a company, a church, a classroom, a team, or simply your family around the dinner table, leadership is a gift God has entrusted to you, and with every gift comes responsibility.

Too many people chase the title without understanding the assignment. They want the influence but not the preparation. They want the recognition but not the sacrifice. Real leaders serve first. They prepare when no one is watching so they can add value when everyone is.

I don’t always get it right. There are meetings I wish I had handled differently or conversations I replay in my mind, but one thing I hope people never question is whether I cared enough to prepare because people deserve our best.

If God has entrusted you with influence, even over one person, don’t take it lightly. Pray before you speak, or meditate, whatever you do, but prepare before you lead. Show up ready to serve instead of ready to impress. Someone may walk into your meeting carrying a burden you know nothing about. One sentence, one question, one moment of encouragement could change the direction of their day, or even their life.

That’s the responsibility of leadership, and it’s one worth taking seriously. Today, ask yourself this question: Am I simply showing up, or am I showing up prepared to add value?

With love for you all,

Shauna

How to Find Joy in Difficult Times

Joy Is Not the Absence of Difficulty

If you’re searching for how to find joy in difficult times, chances are life isn’t going exactly the way you planned. Maybe you’ve experienced a loss. Maybe you’re navigating a difficult relationship. Perhaps your career isn’t where you hoped it would be. Maybe you’re carrying stress, grief, disappointment, or uncertainty about the future. I’ve been there. In fact, some of the most important lessons I’ve learned about joy came during seasons when joy seemed impossible to find.

One of those seasons began on October 3, 2018. Ironically, it was my birthday. It was also the day I received a phone call telling me I was losing what I believed was my dream job. Life was good until it wasn’t. Everything changed in a single conversation.

Then, after finding another opportunity and beginning to rebuild, COVID arrived in 2020 and I lost that job too. Two jobs in two years. Two seasons of uncertainty. Two opportunities to either become bitter or become better.

What I discovered during those difficult years changed my life forever.

Joy is not something you find when life gets easier.

Joy is something you choose while life is still hard.

Why Difficult Seasons Steal Our Joy

Most people believe joy disappears because of their circumstances, but circumstances are often only part of the problem. The real joy thief is the story we tell ourselves about our circumstances.

When life becomes difficult, we begin asking questions like:

Why is this happening to me?
What if things never get better?
Why does everyone else seem happier?
What did I do wrong?
Will I ever feel like myself again?

Those thoughts can quickly become a prison. The more we focus on what we’ve lost, the harder it becomes to see what remains. The more we focus on what isn’t working, the harder it becomes to recognize what is. Difficult seasons naturally draw our attention to problems, but joy grows when we intentionally look for possibility.

The Difference Between Happiness and Joy

One of the biggest misconceptions people have is believing happiness and joy are the same thing. They are not. Happiness depends on circumstances. Joy depends on perspective.

Happiness says, “I’ll be happy when.”

When I get the promotion.
When I lose the weight.
When my relationship improves.
When the diagnosis changes.
When life gets easier.

Joy says, “I can find gratitude and purpose right here, right now.”

Joy doesn’t deny reality.

Joy simply refuses to let difficult circumstances have the final word.

Five Ways to Find Joy in Difficult Times

1. Stop Waiting for Life to Be Perfect

Many people postpone joy. They treat joy like a destination instead of a decision. The problem with this mindset is that life will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, disappointments, and uncertainties.

If you wait for every problem to disappear before you allow yourself to experience joy, you may spend your entire life waiting. Joy begins when we stop postponing it.

Ask yourself:

What is still good in my life today?

What blessings am I overlooking because I’m focused on what isn’t working?

2. Focus on What You Can Control

When life feels overwhelming, it’s often because we’re spending our energy on things we cannot control. We can’t control other people. We can’t control the economy. We can’t control the past. We can’t control unexpected setbacks.

What we can control is our attitude, our actions, our habits, and our response.

Every time I have faced a difficult season, I’ve found strength by asking one simple question: “What is the next right step?” Not the next hundred steps. Not the entire solution. Just the next right step.

Small steps create momentum.

Momentum creates hope.

Hope creates joy.

3. Look for the Lesson

I often tell people that when we are truly ready to grow, the teacher appears. Sometimes that teacher is a mentor. Sometimes it’s a book. Sometimes it’s a podcast, and sometimes the teacher is the difficult season itself.

Many of the blessings in my life today were born from situations I never would have chosen. The loss of one opportunity often positioned me for another. The setbacks became setups. The challenges became classrooms.

When we stop asking, “Why is this happening?” and start asking, “What can I learn from this?” everything begins to shift.

4. Practice Gratitude Daily

Gratitude may sound simple, but it is one of the most powerful tools available to us. Gratitude changes what we notice, and what we notice influences how we feel.

During difficult seasons, try writing down three things each day that you’re grateful for. Not huge things. Small things. A beautiful sunrise. A conversation with a friend. A cup of coffee. A good laugh. A hug from a grandchild. These moments remind us that even difficult seasons contain gifts.

5. Serve Someone Else

One of the fastest ways to lose joy is to become completely consumed by your own struggles. One of the fastest ways to regain joy is to help someone else. Encourage a friend. Send a card. Make a phone call. Volunteer. Pray for someone. Acts of service remind us that our purpose is often bigger than our pain.

What the Bible Says About Joy

As a person of faith, I’ve found tremendous comfort in God’s promises during difficult seasons. One of my favorite scriptures about joy is found in Psalm 30:5: “Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Notice that the verse doesn’t deny the existence of weeping. It acknowledges it. There will be nights. There will be seasons of grief. There will be difficult chapters, but those chapters are not the entire story.

Morning comes. Healing comes. Growth comes. Joy comes.

Another powerful reminder is found in Galatians 5:22, where joy is listed as a fruit of the Spirit. Joy is not merely an emotion. It is something God develops within us as we grow closer to Him.

What I’ve Learned About Joy

If there’s one lesson life has taught me, it’s this: Joy is not found in perfect circumstances. It’s found in perspective. I’ve searched for joy in accomplishments. I’ve searched for joy in titles. I’ve searched for joy in success, but the deepest joy I’ve experienced has come from knowing that God was still working, even when I couldn’t see the outcome.

The difficult seasons didn’t destroy me. They developed me, and they can do the same for you.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can you have joy and sadness at the same time?

Absolutely.

Joy and sadness can coexist. You can grieve a loss while still finding reasons to be grateful. You can face challenges while still experiencing hope.

Why is it so hard to feel joyful during difficult seasons?

Because difficult circumstances naturally pull our attention toward fear, uncertainty, and loss. Joy requires intentional focus and perspective.

Is joy a choice?

While emotions aren’t always a choice, the habits, thoughts, and perspectives that cultivate joy often are. Choosing gratitude, faith, growth, and purpose can help create lasting joy.

How long do difficult seasons last?

Every situation is different. Some seasons are brief while others are much longer. The good news is that difficult seasons are chapters, not the entire story.

Final Thoughts

If you’re walking through a difficult season right now, I want you to hear this:

You do not have to wait until life becomes perfect to experience joy. Joy can be found in the middle of the uncertainty. Joy can be found in the middle of the waiting. Joy can be found in the middle of the healing.

The circumstances may not change overnight, but your perspective can, and sometimes that is where the miracle begins.

Because joy isn’t found when life becomes perfect. It’s found when we choose to keep moving forward anyway.

I do want to add one thing though. If you are going through something so big and so heavy that you need professional help, please go get it! I have many times in my life, and that has been part of my journey to helping me find joy.

My 90-day devotional entitled Right Where you Are, A 90-Day Journey to Joy is coming out this year! Stay tuned for more information.

With love for you all,

Shauna

What if you just decide to be yourself??

Can I ask you something? Who told you that you had to have botox, hair extensions, eyelash extensions, smooth foreheads, no crows feet, no laugh lines, six pack abs, no fat rolls, skinny long legs, a tiny waist and weigh 105 pounds to be beautiful? Who told you that you had to have a Louis Vuitton purse, all the latest fashions, the big house, SUV, trainer and gym membership, belong to the local whose who club and have 1100 friends on Facebook to be popular and fit in and make an impact somewhere? Where is this self image coming from? Where is this idea of self worth being in our outward appearance coming from? It’s not healthy for us to walk around feeling like we have to change our looks so much to fit in somewhere with fake people! I think maybe right now this time we find ourselves in, might be making us stop and take a look at that. Does our happiness and self worth really come from any of that? I am not judging here, I love like the next person to get my hair done, to put something nice on and go out to dinner with my husband or my girlfriends and feel good about myself. What I am saying is I think bad self image is the driving force making so many people feel bad about themselves and causing them to spend thousands of dollars trying to fit in. If your self worth lies in any of that, please spend some time alone and do some soul searching and realize you don’t need that stuff to be amazing and beautiful!

I have had a personal trainer and gym memberships off and on over the past 25 years. Health is SO important, don’t lose what I am about to say. I did not have a trainer just to be cool and say I had one. I had a trainer because I had gained so much weight over my years of dealing with fertility and pumping myself full of hormones that I needed a plan, and I knew that without professional help, I would not be able to change and get healthy. I still had to put in the work. What I want you to realize is that you need to be healthy, you have one and only one body, but health is not the same for everybody. A number on the scale, a certain BMI, how many days a week you move your body is different for everybody. Do not get caught up in somebody else’s version of health. I am bigger boned, I know that, but I also know how I feel at a certain weight. I know that high blood pressure and strokes and heart problems run in my family and I am now at a point in my life where what I do could determine the quality of the rest of my life. Just be the healthiest version of you, eat healthy and move your body every single day. Do not let somebody else’s body be the driving factor for what you do! You have to get real with yourself about what you need and let that be the picture of health for you! Don’t waste tons of money on programs and products because some supermodel does it, or Sally down the street who has the killer body does it, or you don’t want left out in your club of women because they all do something and you don’t. Own your truth! Listen to YOUR body!

What about botox, hair extensions, fake lashes, lip injections, liposuction, and on and on. I am not judging if you do any of this! Hey, I wore fake lashes for Halloween and thought I looked pretty good! I’m with you, but what I am asking is what is your motivation behind doing all of this? If it is to fit in, or to make you feel like you’re only beautiful with this stuff, then I would recommend taking a look at yourself. If you hang around people who make you feel like you must do this to fit in with them, you need new friends. I am again just asking you to take a look at yourself and feel beautiful for who you are! You don’t need this stuff to be beautiful! Feel beautiful for your kind heart, for your compassion, because you’re an amazing wife and mother, because you are a great cook, because you’re funny, because you show up every day for those who need you. The list of things is too endless to go on, but you get the point. You are simply beautiful because you’re you and you can’t authentically be anyone else! You have gifts! You have a life to live and people to impact that nobody but you can.

I hope that maybe I have convicted somebody to just decide to be your true authentic life and stop comparing yourself to everybody else. I think if we did this, we might find that when we are living and being our true authentic selves, our lives would be so much more fulfilling! Take the pressure off to be like everybody else! My sisters please stop stressing over what you don’t have and realize you are a masterpiece made by God! You don’t have to spend every single day trying to be like somebody else! You are gloriously you! Maybe it’s time to stop following some people on social media that make us feel bad about ourselves. Take the time you would be spending looking at other people and make a list of your great qualities. Then, make a list of the things you would like to change, but only to make yourself feel better and be your best self! If you need to lose a few pounds, do it. If you need to be more active, stop talking about it and doing it. If you want growth, start reading and following people who are experts in that area. We all have areas we want to work on, but do it for you, not to fit in somewhere. Do it to feel like the best version of yourself! I sound like a broken record here, but who you were made to be matters! Big hair, straight hair, glasses, big nose, rolls around your middle, big thighs, bird legs, funny, serious, just you, just like God made you to be!

I want to leave you with this quote from Rachel Hollis! She says “It’s time to stop apologizing for who you are. It’s time to become who you were made to be.”

With love for you all,

Shauna