Life Isn’t a Hallmark Movie

I love Hallmark Christmas movies! LOVE them! I never miss one! The girl always gets the guy, the girl always gets the promotion, or the job in the town she wants, or the opportunity to start the company that she’s always dreamed of! Life always works out perfectly! 

Here’s the real truth though. Life doesn’t usually come wrapped in a pretty bow. There’s no perfectly timed music playing in the background, and no guarantee that doing the right thing leads to instant reward, or even reward at all.

Sometimes the relationships don’t work out. Sometimes despite your best efforts, or counseling, you realize you can’t change people. Sometimes you realize it starts with you and you have to heal first. 

Sometimes you don’t get the promotion, even when you’re the most qualified, the hardest-working, the most prepared person in the room. Sometimes you watch opportunities pass you by while wondering how integrity and effort didn’t seem to count that day. 

Sometimes no matter how hard you work, others are the favored, and their ideas are always the best.

Sometimes life doesn’t warn you when people will talk about you. When stories get twisted. When lies are told. When silence becomes your loudest defense. You keep your mouth shut because you know the truth. You believe character still matters. You trust that time will reveal what you refuse to explain, but let’s be honest quiet strength can feel lonely when you’re being misunderstood. It’s lonely when you’re judged by lies of things you never did, and you watch people believe those lies about you.

And then there’s this part no one really talks about. You’re always who everyone needs right when they need you. You show up.

You carry weight that isn’t yours.

You fix things, fill gaps, calm storms, and hold space for others, but somehow, you’re never the hero.

You’re the reliable one. The one who always shows up for everyone. The strong one. The “she’s got it” one. The one people lean on without realizing how heavy it gets. You’re present in everyone else’s turning point, yet rarely celebrated in your own.

And here’s a hard truth no one likes to say out loud: sometimes the “pretty” girl isn’t kind. Sometimes the most polished smile hides the most manipulation. Sometimes what looks perfect on the outside is anything but real on the inside. In a day with hair extensions, blown up lips, Botox, breast implants and plastic surgery, even the outside isn’t real.

These things can mess with your head if you let it. We grow up believing that good behavior equals good outcomes. That honesty wins quickly. That authenticity is always celebrated. But real life is more complicated than that. Real life tests your patience, your confidence, and your resolve.

Yet here’s what is real, and we have to know this to keep our mindset in the right place.

Your consistency matters, even when no one applauds it. Your integrity matters, even when it costs you. Your loyalty matters, even when it goes unnoticed.

Your strength matters, even when no one calls you the hero.

You don’t need to be louder to be right. You don’t need to be prettier to be valuable. You don’t need to win every battle to live a life of meaning.

Here’s what I am learning, and yes, it is hard, and not just some of the time. Sometimes growth happens in the waiting. Sometimes strength is built in the silence. Sometimes the reward isn’t the title, the recognition, or the approval, but the person you become when you refuse to compromise who you are.

Life isn’t a Hallmark movie, but it is a story, and the best ones aren’t perfect. They’re honest. They’re gritty. They’re real. They’re yours.

So keep showing up.Keep choosing truth. Keep being you, even when it’s hard, even when lies are told, even when you feel overlooked.

Here’s a lesson my mom taught me. In the end, authenticity always outlasts appearances. Truth always comes out, and somehow life works out when you work hard, and keep showing up!

With love for you all, 

Shauna

When It Feels Like the Rules Don’t Apply to Everyone

Maybe I am the only person that has ever felt this way, but I am going to be honest, this is a hard question for me. Have you ever noticed that some people seem to skate through life without the same rules applying to them? You know the ones. The ones that no matter what happens, they somehow land on their feet. The ones that always get a pass despite their actions or attitude. The ones who don’t show up for others, but they get excuses made for them. The ones who always seem to be taken care of. Then there are people who show up for everyone, work hard, play fair, and still face resistance. Who still have to “fight” for everything they get.

I’ve caught myself asking that question more times than I can count. But over time, with research, prayer, and a whole lot of soul searching, I’ve learned a few things. Well, I am starting to.

Some people are just masters of perception, but perception and truth don’t always line up. Eventually, integrity reveals itself. Eventually the truth comes out and their true colors are revealed.

Some people simply understand the system differently. They know how to work within it, bend it, or navigate it, not always fairly, but effectively. Maybe some of us simply play it too safe, and shouldn’t always play it safe!

And here comes the hard one, but the one I want you to really lean into. Sometimes, you’re just called to a higher standard. You’re being refined, not restricted. You’re growing! You’re being changed! When you’re meant for greater influence, your accountability will always be higher. It’s not punishment, it’s preparation. And hear me, it’s really a gift!

So today, instead of being frustrated by what feels unfair, remind yourself as I have to do sometimes when that fixed mindset creeps in, and I make myself the victim, remember these things;

Your consistency is your credibility.

Your integrity is your influence.

Your growth will outlast their shortcuts.

And besides, did you wake up to be average?! I certainly did not! Keep showing up, doing the right thing, and leading with joy and purpose because your story isn’t about who got by, it’s about who grew through. It’s about what you did to make others better! It’s about rising above!

So the next time you start feeling this way, do something for yourself! Read something that will help you! Learn something that will push you forward! Listen to something that will elevate your knowledge and focus on what you can control. You! And most of all, be grateful for your journey, and how amazing you are!

With love for you all,

Shauna

What is Happening to me?

There’s so much pressure on women as we age to keep looking a certain way. Be this size. Look that young. Meanwhile, men are out here divorcing and marrying younger women with perfect little bodies. For the record, I couldn’t care less about age—I’ve had two husbands who were both ten years older than me. But let’s be real: society tells us that men “get better with age,” while women just get labeled “frumpy.”

Our bodies don’t look like they did in our 20s or 30s or even 40s. Hollywood makes it worse (and sometimes a little funny—if you’ve seen It’s Complicated or Four Seasons, you know what I mean). And the hot flashes? Don’t even get me started. I finally understand why women chop off their hair, live with a bun on top of their head, and can’t stand clothes touching their skin. Men? They get to be called “distinguished” with their grey hair or even “sexy” when they go bald. Women? Grey hair just makes us look older.

I don’t even know where to start with all the changes happening to my body. But let me tell you why I’m writing this: I think so many people don’t realize what menopause really puts us through.

Take my mirror, for example. I used to have the tiniest waist of all my girlfriends. Now? It’s gone. I’ve got a gut that never existed before. Add brain fog so bad I can’t remember names half the time, dry eyes that make contacts impossible, and now I’m that woman with glasses on all the time. Grey hair is creeping in. And, of course, we dye it blonde to cover it, only to get side-eyes for that. Oh, and let’s not forget the random armpit fat—seriously, where does that even come from? Some days, I don’t even recognize the person staring back at me.

And then there’s sleep. Or rather, the lack of it. Our brains need it. Our bodies need it. Yet somehow, it slips away the minute we need it most. I wore my Apple Watch to bed recently to track my sleep, and you know what it told me? Ten minutes. Ten minutes of deep sleep all night. Add five wake-ups—thank you, hot flashes—and I woke up feeling like I hadn’t slept at all.

So if you’ve got a woman in your life who isn’t herself right now, hear me on this: she may just be tired. Exhausted. Maybe even wondering if she’s losing her mind because she can’t think straight anymore.

I hear other women say, “This body bore kids, and sure, it shows—but it was worth it.” And I sit there thinking… my body didn’t bear kids, so why do I look like this? Shouldn’t I look like I did in high school? Of course, no one’s saying that to me—but that’s where my brain goes. I don’t have the “excuse” of pregnancy for the changes, so I judge myself even harder.

These changes can stop us in our tracks. And while I am deeply grateful to be alive and committed to aging gracefully, we have to be honest: this takes processing. Husbands, partners—listen up. This is a new version of us. We didn’t ask for her. We don’t even know her yet. But she’s here, and we’re learning to deal with her too.

Now, I’ll be honest. I haven’t had the mood swings or the “bitchiness” people talk about. But I have faced depression. The kind where you wonder if you’re making any difference at all, if you’re living in your purpose, if you’ll leave the world better than you found it.

For years, I fought hormone replacement therapy (HRT). I was scared. With no kids and a hysterectomy in my past, I thought the odds were stacked against me, and quite frankly, I was scared of cancer. But then I read The New Menopause by Dr. Mary Claire Haver. Game-changer. Every woman needs to read that book. So now, I have another appointment with my nurse practioner next week to finally say “I’m ready.”

Let me be clear: I’m not advocating for letting yourself go. I still love dressing up, looking great, and feeling confident. But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a struggle. Getting dressed is a struggle. Doing my hair only to have a hot flash and it look like I didn’t comb it, is a struggle. Feeling pretty is a struggle, and don’t come at me for being honest.

Take this Wednesday when I fly. I’ll have my protein bars and grass-fed beef sticks packed, because that’s what I should eat. But the truth? What I’ll really want is that overpriced glass of airplane wine and two little biscotti cookies.

Because that’s life in this stage. A little discipline, a little indulgence, and a whole lot of grace for ourselves.

With love for you all,

Shauna

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Make Today Count: Say What Needs to Be Said

This morning at 7:53 a.m., my phone dinged with a text from my sister-in-law. The information in that text was something we feared was coming; however, it still wasn’t the news I wanted to hear. My other sister-in-law her sister had passed away. Almost two weeks ago, Val had been found unconscious from a brain aneurysm and never woke up. Val is my age, in fact, slightly younger. Just 5 months ago, Val tragically had to bury her husband. These should be the best years of our lives. Empty nesters, enough years in our jobs to be making decent money, things starting to be paid off, and more time to enjoy life, but sometimes those things don’t come. Sometimes life doesn’t happen like it “should”.

I have been thinking about Val all day today. She was always the first person on any given holiday to text me, despite the time difference between Colorado and Indiana. She would always text when she was going to be flying anywhere to see if, by some chance, I would be flying through that airport. If I had known that the texts we exchanged just three short weeks ago would be the last text, I would have texted a little longer. We were both busy, and she was planning a trip here in June, so I went about my day, as did she. But today, those texts are just memories. The necklace she sent for Christmas means something different and the name plate that sits on desk will forever remind me of that gift from her.

Let me ask you: Are you putting off trips to see people you love, people you need to forgive, letters you need to write, things you want to do until tomorrow? What if tomorrow doesn’t come? I lost my dad three years ago with so much that needed to be said, and now I can’t say them. I had things I needed him to say, and I will never hear them. Why do we wait until some time in the future and think we have plenty of time?

What if we don’t have as much time as we want? You have heard me say before that I do not want to be that statistic that you so often hear that the most untapped potential lies in a graveyard. Maybe you need to write that book. Maybe you need to tell your family more often how much you love them. Maybe you need to forgive and ask for forgiveness. Maybe you need to take that chance. Maybe you need to risk your heart being broken and fall in love. Maybe you need to be a better person. Hear me today, let’s all just do that thing today and do it with urgency!

To my friends and family, I love you! I love you deeply, and I hope you all know what you mean to me. To those I have wronged, I am sorry! Please find it in your heart to forgive me! Not for me, but for you. Find peace for you! To those who cheer me on every day, support, mentor, coach, and believe in me, thank you from the bottom of my heart! To those who have played a role in my success, I hope I am making you proud, and living my purpose!

I implore you today to choose to live with more urgency. Choose today to live like it could be your last. Be your future self right now! Be proud of yourself, chase those dreams, and do those things you’re putting off for tomorrow, today! Be diligent about your calling and your work! Live with passion and purpose! Love more, hate less, and have more fun! Just start living! Just start doing those things you’re putting off. Just start saying the things you want to say! Do it and do it today because you may not have the time you think you have. There may not be a tomorrow.

With love for you all, Shauna

Are you fully committed?

My coach recently recommended that I read the book Be Your Future Self Now by Dr. Benjamin Hardy. If you have not read that book, order it now! I dried up a highlighter in the first half of the book! No joke! Guys! When I say it hit me square between the eyes this week, I am not kidding! In one of the steps, Dr. Hardy talks about eliminating lesser goals. This is the chapter that got me, and now I know one of the reasons my coach told me to read this book! It has got me doing some major reflection this week.

Listen to this statement from the book: “Anything that isn’t taking you toward your future self is a lesser goal.” I have had to admit this week that my actions are not aligning with what I say I want. My actions do not align with my goals of my future self.

You might wonder exactly what this means. Think about this. One of my goals over the past year has been to lose the 50 pounds I gained after Covid. I have been taking steps to lose weight and have lost 23 pounds, but I have used the excuse of my travel schedule to justify not working out while on the road. I have used the excuse of stress when I want to eat something that isn’t healthy or moving me toward my weight loss goals. So, have I been truly committed to the weight loss enough to uncommit from these bad habits and get healthy? I have had to question my commitment. Do I really want what I say I want for my future self? Is my commitment really to be healthy as I start this new season in my 50s?

Let me give you another example. Another goal of mine is to be financially free, meaning no debt. We have been crushing this goal for several months. How? We weren’t buying things we didn’t need! But then, we started buying anything we wanted, such as a new chair, treadmill, clothes, trips, fishing equipment, etc. I realized my commitment has been to impulsively buy things I wanted in the moment, not toward my future self of being financially free.

Are you getting the picture? I had the realization that I have been saying yes to things that are taking me away from my goals, not toward them. Maybe for you, it’s too much time on social media instead of working on something that will push you closer to your future self. Maybe it’s people who are not making you better but dragging you down. Maybe it’s a business you are trying to start, but you are allowing things to distract you from doing the work you need to do. Maybe it’s getting that degree or certification, but all you can see is the 9-5 job right now, and you think there’s no time.

I don’t know what it is for you, but maybe you can relate to what I’m sharing here, and this will be your wake-up call to evaluate what you want and what is stopping you. I hope this will be your wake-up call to admit that you are allowing lesser goals to take precedence. Maybe, like me, you need to get better at saying no to things! If you have read Valorie Burton’s book entitled It’s About Time, you read about the urgent versus the meaningful, and that is what I am trying to avoid being stuck in. I want to spend my time doing the meaningful things that bring me joy, that serve my purpose, and lead me toward my future self, not away. I don’t want to be the statistic that says that the most untapped potential lies in a graveyard.

Let me challenge you in closing to evaluate your time. Are you letting commitment to lesser goals keep you from living what you want and deserve? If so, be strong, be disciplined, and be focused on activities that will move you toward who you want to be, and what you want to accomplish!

With love for you all,

Shauna

Do I Ever Lose my Joy?

While on a zoom with my coach this week, he asked me a simple question. He said “Shauna, do you ever lose your joy?” I had to think about it for a minute. Through coaching, growth, healing, and with so much work on myself, it’s harder than it used to be, but the answer is yes! Sometimes I lose my joy. I will tell you what my response was to him in just a minute, but I have to be honest and say that this week, I have struggled to keep my joy.

I was blessed to be able to spend the week between Christmas and the New Year in Arizona and Nevada, and I have to tell you, it was spiritual for me. Everybody has their own opinion of what spirtual means to them, and honestly, when people told me that it was spiritual, I was skeptical. That was until I saw it with my own eyes. It truly was spiritual to me. I came home from my trip relaxed, motivated, and ready to take on the year, and the first week home boom…it hit me in the face. 

As I relaxed into the table at my deep tissue massage this morning, and yes, that’s the only way to go to relieve stress, I realized that I have to show myself some grace, like I do to others. As I lay there with my back completely full of knots, I had to forgive myself and realize I am human. I am going to lose my joy from time to time, and be tested, and that’s okay, but here’s the realization I have had this week. Listen to my response to my coach when he asked me the question. “I do lose my joy from time to time, but I never lose my hope!” That’s what carries me through trying times like this week has been.

This week has been a bit overwhelming to me. We have had some family things, I am trying to settle into a new territory at work, we’ve been snowed in, and yes, it affected me. Part of it is hormones and the anxiety and overwhelm that comes, and nobody wants to talk about it. Yes, I am going to go there, just for a second, but I am going to go there. It’s real! I turned 50 a few months ago, and hear me, it’s real! Guys, it’s not for the faint of heart! Speaking of guys, let me take just a second and say to you, show the women in your life some grace, we didn’t ask for this! We often feel like we are losing our minds, too! Trust me when I say, we don’t like it either, but I think that’s part of what I was experiencing. All the women reading this of a certain age can feel me right now. This caused me to lose my joy! Me! The pioneer of joy! The preacher of joy whose license plate says JOY (remember that for later), I lost my joy. I felt it while teaching a class this week. I feel horrible, but that class didn’t get the best version of me, I felt off, and I don’t like that.

Before I wrap up where I’m going with this, let me tell you something that was the tipping point. I drove to our local Walmart in the middle of yet another snowstorm, and after waiting for 40 minutes with no groceries, and nobody answering the phone in the store. I lost it! As I get out of my car to speak to one of the employees loading groceries for another customer, I tell myself not to lose it on him. Long story short, I was there over 40 minutes only to find out they had given my order to someone else, but wait for it…if I wanted to wait, they would refill my order. Am I being tested this week for what I preach? I think so. Well, I didn’t lose it, but I wasn’t the nicest to the employee, I have to admit. As I am getting back in my car, I look over, and there is an elderly lady who has been waiting very patiently beside her car for her groceries, and she is smiling at me so kindly. As I backed out of the space to leave, she knocked on my window and says to me “I love your license plate.” I thanked her and told her I was struggling to find my joy and she smiled and said “You can get it back.”

As I drove home feeling condemned thinking about that dear sweet lady, I thought of how happy she was, even in those conditions that day, and having to wait. It smacked me in the face. I know better! Life’s circumstances don’t have to cause me to lose my joy! I get to control that. So for those of you who read my posts and wonder is she always joyful? I work very hard to stay joyful, but no I’m not, but hear me, I never lose my hope! The lesson to me this week was just that nobody can take my joy from me without me letting them. There’s very little in life I can control, but that is one that I can. So maybe like me, you’ve lost your joy. I’m here to tell you, you can get it back. It is my hope that even if you lose your joy, you always remain hopeful, despite how hard life can be at times.

With love, and joy, for you all.

Shauna

The End of a Decade

As I woke up this morning, I began to think about the fact that it was September 1st. To some September brings excitement that hunting season starts in Indiana. Others are ready to pull out the fall decor and pumpkin everything, and others are sad that summer is almost over. To me, the realization set in that this is my last month in my 40s. It’s nearly the end of a decade. October 3rd is very quickly approaching, and a new decade emerging.

I read an article lately that as people end one decade they tend to begin thinking about things differently, they start thinking about change and evaluating where they are, and what life looks like. Up to now, I don’t believe that I have ever ended a decade and given much thought to that. 30 didn’t bother me, nor did 40. 50 is not bothering me, I am so grateful to be alive and healthy, but I can’t tell you that I’m not evaluating so many things right now because I am. Where am I in life? Am I healthy, physically and mentally? Who is in my circle? Am I good wife, daughter, sister, bonus mom, Gigi, friend and colleague? How is my faith? How are my finances? Am I making the impact I want to make? Am I full of joy? Those are some questions going through my mind!

I don’t sit here today looking back full of regrets, although my regrets are many, I am looking back at the choices I made for opportunities to learn, to grow, and to be different. I am also looking back with some level of pride in just how far I have come and how much crazy, powerful positive change has come. I have had some pretty deep healing in so many areas of my life, and I am proud of that, but there are still wounds to be addressed and greater growth needed. So what is next? Have you ever asked yourself that question?

What is next? Do you know the beauty of that question? Being alive to ask that question. Being self-aware enough to answer that question honestly and being strong enough to make the necessary changes. As I end this decade what is jumping out at me the most is that nobody is promised tomorrow. I don’t have a ton of time left, I must make sure I am living it with purpose every single day. I don’t have time to allow drama and the wrong people in my life. I have to be super intentional about the people I let pour into me, and so do you! I don’t have time to fail to prioritize my health. I don’t have time to fail to love what I am doing. I don’t have time to fail to learn and grow every single day! I don’t have time to fail to make myself a priority! In doing so, this might require some changes. I think deep in my stomach I know that the next decade will bring change, but one thing my almost 50 years have taught me is that change brings new challenges, but it brings opportunities as well, and I will embrace life, and try to make sure that I am living life to the fullest. Full of love, happiness, compassion, and most importantly full of joy!

If you find yourself today at the end of a decade, look back for reflection, but look ahead with great antipication. Look ahead and ask yourself how can I make a greater impact and leave a legacy.That’s where I’m at, I want to leave a legacy. I want to be remembered for making a real difference in as many lives as I can and I will spend the next decade trying every single day to live that out.What will you do?

With love for you all,

Shauna

Thoughts From a Bonus Mom

Last Sunday was National Stepmom’s Day. As I sat on the deck in the heat of the day, my mind began to wander. What thoughts go through a woman’s mind when she’s a stepmom and doesn’t have her own biological kids? Too many sometimes! Do bio moms ever have the same thoughts? I have no idea.

These are the thoughts I had, for whatever reason. Who will take and enjoy my many books and think they’re special? Who will take all of my Mamaw and great-grandmother’s curio cabinet and glassware, and realize the history behind them? Who will take all of the smocked dresses that my mom made, and the crocheted booties and blankets? Will there be any kind of an attachment to anything? Who will remember me with love and look back and think I am who I am because of her? What will happen to all of our family heirlooms? What will happen to all of our family pictures? Will anybody care about any of it, like I do?

Here’s a few more. Will there be a estate sale so anybody can just take what they want with no thought of its history? Will I end up in a nursing home because there’s nobody to take care of me? These are the thoughts you have as a stepmother when you don’t have biological children of your own. Maybe you have shared in some of these thoughts.

You might say Shauna, those are crazy thoughts! We will all go through things like that whether we have biological children or not. You’re probably also thinking who cares about the stuff after you’re gone. Both true statements, but those are just a few of the thoughts that occasionally rush through my mind. Maybe things matter too much to me, but it’s not really the things, it’s the memories behind them that mean something to me.

This is what I should be thinking! If my books and the notes and highlights in them help another life, it won’t matter who it is. To change a life in death is true significance! If someone sets an amazing table with the beautiful glassware I have, even if they never knew me, and that brings them joy, I left a legacy!

At the end of the day, these crazy thoughts are just thoughts that I push out of my head because right now I have too much good to focus on! I must change my mindset from these crazy negative thoughts to enjoy what I have! If we sit and dwell too much on questions like I mentioned above, nothing positive will come from them. Those thoughts will steal our joy from enjoying the here and now. I have little Emmie, and if nothing else, for the past 2 1/2 years of my life, she has brought so much amazing joy! She loves shoes just like Gigi! She loves dresses like Gigi! She loves every month when she gets a new book in the mail! She’s perfect and stubborn and emotional and funny all wrapped into one! So if nobody takes one thing I have, but I leave any kind of legacy in my bonus kids and my grandkids, then my life was well lived and I lived a good life! More importantly, if I positively impact or change one life, whether I knew them or not, then my living wasn’t in vain!

With love for you all, Shauna

Get Better Everyday

I recently ordered cutouts to go above my office closet doors that simply say get better everyday. I heard a speaker say he had those words in the entryway of his home, and seeing that is what I try to do every single morning, I decided to have it made for my office. While we were hanging them, my perfectionist self couldn’t get them just right. I decided not to make them perfect, isn’t that kind of the point? I’m not going for perfection, I’m going for growth each day, even if that looks messy. So, if you stepped foot into my home office, you might look at them and think they’re off. Do you want to know a secret? Some days, I’m off, so they’re staying that way, off.

I have worked hard over the past six years to improve, and I know that it has only come by taking steps every day. These single steps that have added up to years of amazing powerful positive change and growth. I see it in the greatest manner in the way that I react, or should I say no longer react, like the old Shauna would have, and did. I am no longer triggered by situations that have broken me and caused me great pain and sorrow. Or am I? Oh, who am I kidding? I still have days! I wish I could tell you that I am totally healed from some things, but the truth is, I’m not totally healed, and that’s okay. My greatest fear in trying to live and breathe growth and a positive mindset is that somebody is going to think I’m trying to portray this perfect life where I’m always positive and full of joy and life isn’t still affecting me. I can tell you 100% that I have been hurt, and even recently, but I still have my joy and I’m not living in that hurt for very long. I pull up my britches and get going, no time to lay in the trenches upset, and besides, who likes to wallow in mud anyway? Well, unless you’re participating in a mud race and doing it on purpose.

I want someone to know today that you can have joy, and even though you have healed from hard things in life, you will still have times when you’re sad, your feelings are hurt and it still affects you. Just because you find joy doesn’t mean you aren’t human with feelings! You don’t always have to be strong, and if you tell yourself you do, you will be disappointed. It’s okay to still hurt sometimes, it doesn’t mean you regressed! Just don’t live there very long! I have found myself numerous times feeling hurt about something but feeling like I can’t show that emotion because I preach growth. That is ridiculous to feel that way. The real key to growth is allowing yourself to have those feelings but having the tools to pull yourself out and not letting those feelings wreck your day or worse relationships. Joy is a state of mind and you can still have joy and sadness or sorrow or hurt. You are not going to live on a high 24/7. That’s now what having joy is all about.

Why do I want you to hear this message? I want you to know that you are not going to wake up every day full of joy. You are not going to be immune to life getting to you sometimes. You are not going to be immune to hurt and pain. We will always have that, we live in this world, and it’s not always good. What I want you to hear me say today is just get up every single day and be determined to get better, but show yourself some grace in the meantime. In this journey, you will have days where you move ahead ten steps, but then the next day, you may go backward two. That’s why this is a journey, not a sprint. With each movement forward, you will learn something about yourself. With each movement backward, you will learn something about yourself. My message is simply this…Get.Better.Everyday!

With love for you all, Shauna

Change is Hard

I have had a lot of change in my life. I thought I had reached a point in my life where I could handle change without too much disruption. Change in my personal life, change in never being a biological momma, change in first my brother moving away and then my mom, and then my dad’s death, change in jobs. But tonight, I realize that change still affects my heart, and that’s okay, it means I feel!

Two and a half years ago we got some amazing neighbors. They were a military family that became our family. We became close friends, but more importantly family. A young couple first, and then adding two sons. We had keys to each other’s houses, I became an adopted Gigi to their firstborn, even being the pick up at daycare on Thursdays. We were there for 30th birthdays, 50th birthdays, and then two babies for them and our first grand baby. We knew our time might be short, but we enjoyed every second of every minute we had together. Late-night calls, sickness, holidays, whatever was needed. After tonight, I won’t experience a Miss Shauna screaming across my yard by a sweet little boy wanting to see his Shauna, or asking where Mr. Chad is, or wanting juice or a pouch that he knew I always had.

Tonight was our last dinner together, at least in Indiana, as they left our house and headed to new beginnings across the US. Emmie’s friend moved away, our adopted grandkids and more importantly a piece of our hearts. But as they were walking out my front door, I realized that with tears streaming down my face, with sadness, I would rather love like this, have relationships like this, than never experience hard change that came out of love.

If we don’t allow change in our lives, or at least try to get through them, we miss out on great love. I know that I will have other great change in my life where I will have close relationships change for whatever reason, but I still choose to love and love hard, no matter how hard endings are. I choose to let people in, even if as I age that comes with boundaries for protection, but I choose love and I choose to make a difference in lives, no matter how long or short that time is. I hope you choose the same. Change is hard, but that means you felt something and we all need to feel!

With love for you all,

Shauna