Joy Is Not the Absence of Difficulty
If you’re searching for how to find joy in difficult times, chances are life isn’t going exactly the way you planned. Maybe you’ve experienced a loss. Maybe you’re navigating a difficult relationship. Perhaps your career isn’t where you hoped it would be. Maybe you’re carrying stress, grief, disappointment, or uncertainty about the future. I’ve been there. In fact, some of the most important lessons I’ve learned about joy came during seasons when joy seemed impossible to find.
One of those seasons began on October 3, 2018. Ironically, it was my birthday. It was also the day I received a phone call telling me I was losing what I believed was my dream job. Life was good until it wasn’t. Everything changed in a single conversation.
Then, after finding another opportunity and beginning to rebuild, COVID arrived in 2020 and I lost that job too. Two jobs in two years. Two seasons of uncertainty. Two opportunities to either become bitter or become better.
What I discovered during those difficult years changed my life forever.
Joy is not something you find when life gets easier.
Joy is something you choose while life is still hard.
Why Difficult Seasons Steal Our Joy
Most people believe joy disappears because of their circumstances, but circumstances are often only part of the problem. The real joy thief is the story we tell ourselves about our circumstances.
When life becomes difficult, we begin asking questions like:
- Why is this happening to me?
- What if things never get better?
- Why does everyone else seem happier?
- What did I do wrong?
- Will I ever feel like myself again?
Those thoughts can quickly become a prison. The more we focus on what we’ve lost, the harder it becomes to see what remains. The more we focus on what isn’t working, the harder it becomes to recognize what is. Difficult seasons naturally draw our attention to problems, but joy grows when we intentionally look for possibility.
The Difference Between Happiness and Joy
One of the biggest misconceptions people have is believing happiness and joy are the same thing. They are not. Happiness depends on circumstances. Joy depends on perspective.
Happiness says, “I’ll be happy when.”
- When I get the promotion.
- When I lose the weight.
- When my relationship improves.
- When the diagnosis changes.
- When life gets easier.
Joy says, “I can find gratitude and purpose right here, right now.”
Joy doesn’t deny reality.
Joy simply refuses to let difficult circumstances have the final word.
Five Ways to Find Joy in Difficult Times
1. Stop Waiting for Life to Be Perfect
Many people postpone joy. They treat joy like a destination instead of a decision. The problem with this mindset is that life will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, disappointments, and uncertainties.
If you wait for every problem to disappear before you allow yourself to experience joy, you may spend your entire life waiting. Joy begins when we stop postponing it.
Ask yourself:
What is still good in my life today?
What blessings am I overlooking because I’m focused on what isn’t working?
2. Focus on What You Can Control
When life feels overwhelming, it’s often because we’re spending our energy on things we cannot control. We can’t control other people. We can’t control the economy. We can’t control the past. We can’t control unexpected setbacks.
What we can control is our attitude, our actions, our habits, and our response.
Every time I have faced a difficult season, I’ve found strength by asking one simple question: “What is the next right step?” Not the next hundred steps. Not the entire solution. Just the next right step.
Small steps create momentum.
Momentum creates hope.
Hope creates joy.
3. Look for the Lesson
I often tell people that when we are truly ready to grow, the teacher appears. Sometimes that teacher is a mentor. Sometimes it’s a book. Sometimes it’s a podcast, and sometimes the teacher is the difficult season itself.
Many of the blessings in my life today were born from situations I never would have chosen. The loss of one opportunity often positioned me for another. The setbacks became setups. The challenges became classrooms.
When we stop asking, “Why is this happening?” and start asking, “What can I learn from this?” everything begins to shift.
4. Practice Gratitude Daily
Gratitude may sound simple, but it is one of the most powerful tools available to us. Gratitude changes what we notice, and what we notice influences how we feel.
During difficult seasons, try writing down three things each day that you’re grateful for. Not huge things. Small things. A beautiful sunrise. A conversation with a friend. A cup of coffee. A good laugh. A hug from a grandchild. These moments remind us that even difficult seasons contain gifts.
5. Serve Someone Else
One of the fastest ways to lose joy is to become completely consumed by your own struggles. One of the fastest ways to regain joy is to help someone else. Encourage a friend. Send a card. Make a phone call. Volunteer. Pray for someone. Acts of service remind us that our purpose is often bigger than our pain.
What the Bible Says About Joy
As a person of faith, I’ve found tremendous comfort in God’s promises during difficult seasons. One of my favorite scriptures about joy is found in Psalm 30:5: “Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Notice that the verse doesn’t deny the existence of weeping. It acknowledges it. There will be nights. There will be seasons of grief. There will be difficult chapters, but those chapters are not the entire story.
Morning comes. Healing comes. Growth comes. Joy comes.
Another powerful reminder is found in Galatians 5:22, where joy is listed as a fruit of the Spirit. Joy is not merely an emotion. It is something God develops within us as we grow closer to Him.
What I’ve Learned About Joy
If there’s one lesson life has taught me, it’s this: Joy is not found in perfect circumstances. It’s found in perspective. I’ve searched for joy in accomplishments. I’ve searched for joy in titles. I’ve searched for joy in success, but the deepest joy I’ve experienced has come from knowing that God was still working, even when I couldn’t see the outcome.
The difficult seasons didn’t destroy me. They developed me, and they can do the same for you.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you have joy and sadness at the same time?
Absolutely.
Joy and sadness can coexist. You can grieve a loss while still finding reasons to be grateful. You can face challenges while still experiencing hope.
Why is it so hard to feel joyful during difficult seasons?
Because difficult circumstances naturally pull our attention toward fear, uncertainty, and loss. Joy requires intentional focus and perspective.
Is joy a choice?
While emotions aren’t always a choice, the habits, thoughts, and perspectives that cultivate joy often are. Choosing gratitude, faith, growth, and purpose can help create lasting joy.
How long do difficult seasons last?
Every situation is different. Some seasons are brief while others are much longer. The good news is that difficult seasons are chapters, not the entire story.
Final Thoughts
If you’re walking through a difficult season right now, I want you to hear this:
You do not have to wait until life becomes perfect to experience joy. Joy can be found in the middle of the uncertainty. Joy can be found in the middle of the waiting. Joy can be found in the middle of the healing.
The circumstances may not change overnight, but your perspective can, and sometimes that is where the miracle begins.
Because joy isn’t found when life becomes perfect. It’s found when we choose to keep moving forward anyway.
I do want to add one thing though. If you are going through something so big and so heavy that you need professional help, please go get it! I have many times in my life, and that has been part of my journey to helping me find joy.
My 90-day devotional entitled Right Where you Are, A 90-Day Journey to Joy is coming out this year! Stay tuned for more information.
With love for you all,
Shauna
Journey on Yourself 