Shauna's Sisters

Do you ever feel that you’re walking through life, life’s going pretty well for you, you’re loved, you’re happy, you have a great job, a family that loves you and then BAM! You’re knocked right down on your behind, and for years sometimes, and you just feel like you’re crawling and helpless and you can’t get out of this dark tunnel you seem to be crawling in? Or maybe flying away on a jet plane and never coming back sounds like the best idea you’ve ever heard? As I sit here writing, a jet literally just flew over my house and for a split second, I thought I wish I was on that jet, and I don’t even care where it’s going, just take me and never bring me back! I’ve talked before about seasons and I know all about seasons of life, but man this season I am in seems like it’s lasting forever, and honestly, I am kind of tired! Just be over already! Just tell me what I’m supposed to be learning NOW and let’s move on!

I trust God’s timing and his purpose for my life, I really do, but this trial seems to be lasting for eternity, not getting over at all, and things just keep happening! I have always been accused of being hard headed, but wowzer! (I know that’s not a word, but it’s my word) I am trying to be Shauna Sunshine here, but can the real sunshine please just come out!?

Trust me when I tell you, I am trying. I am reading books like Why Is This Happening to Me? I am reading and finding that I am in fact co-dependent. Never even heard that word before, but yep, sure enough, turns out, I am in fact co-dependent! I mean classic case, the research papers were written about me! I say all of that to say, I really am trying! I am reading, listening, studying, mediating, and doing everything in my power to hurry this little ride I’m on along a little bit faster, begging it to please get out of the station and soon! No matter what I do though, it seems I take two steps forward and two steps back. I’m high and then I’m low. I’m working out and then I’m not. I’m eating well, and then I’m not. What in the world is happening to me!? Am I alone here??

Do you seem to be knocked down by life right now? Does it seem no matter which way you turn, it’s wrong? No matter what you say, it’s wrong? No matter what decision you make, it’s wrong? Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever feel like the world is against you and you’re standing there in the middle of this great big dessert looking around alone? You’re hot, you’re tired, you’re thirsty and just wish for a minute to see water? Yeah, life sucks sometimes, but what if, just for a minute you turn around and literally right behind you, what you’re not seeing is vast sandy beaches with water as far as the eyes can see! You’re only parched because you have chosen to be. All along, the water was right there waiting on you! Maybe all along, it’s been what you have chosen to see, not what really was?

I don’t know about you, but I think where I’ve been for far too long was worried about everybody else’s opinion of me, opinion of my choices, fear of hurting people, fear of it being wrong to take care of me that has driven me. What I am realizing is that I have let myself be paralyzed by people. Paralyzed by fear of what people will say instead of realizing that I have a pretty good group of cheerleaders behind me that don’t care if I fall down or mess up, they love me, and they see my potential and see my desire to live out my purpose. They know my heart! Why don’t you look around today and instead of fearing rejection, and feeling like you’re alone in that dessert, find those people in your life who accept you, for the good, bad and ugly and want you to sore, applaud your victories, encourage you, don’t judge you, are the positive voice that you need to hear each day! Weed out those poisonous people that have no place in your life and be strong enough to know that they have no place in your life! Here’s the thing, we’re not alone. No matter how hard life is sometimes, we are never truly alone! Maybe you’re not lucky enough to have real genuine friends and family in your life who is there for you no matter what, but God loves us no matter what. Whatever he is allowing to happen in our lives right now will eventually turn out for our good and of this, I must remind myself of daily!

You see the fish in this picture above? Think about this fish when you feel like giving up and just keep swimming! Swim like your life depends on it. Swim toward those people who will uplift you, raise you higher and cause you to some day see that with test, there will be a great testimony!

With love for you all,

Shauna

 

As I set and reflect today on Mother’s Day, I am a total flood of emotions. My mom is 2000  miles away right now. She’s been that far from me for a few years now, but somehow it’s worked out that many of those years I have been able to be with her for Mother’s Day, but not this year. It’s hard and I miss her terribly, but I also try to be thankful because I know so many don’t have their mothers anymore, or don’t have relationships with their mom even though they’re living.

As I set and look around my house, I see so much of my mom here, and I am thinking about all the things she taught me growing up.  My style is her style, my house is decorated like she decorated, I cook her recipes, and well, thanks to her, I know how to be a lady, and thanks to her how to love and be open and not let life totally knock you down when it gets too tough to bare sometimes.

There are many words I would use to describe my mom, but a few would be grace, patience, beauty, strength, faith. Well, who am I kidding, I could go on all day.

So what did I learn from my mom?

I learned the importance of making meals for my family. The importance of making your kids breakfast, the importance of dinner around the table and how much that all says I love you. The importance of a packed lunch and never making us have to do any of that ourselves.

I learned the importance of dressing like a lady and being a lady and spending time on yourself. I learned the importance of healthy eating and working out and taking care of your skin and white teeth! Maybe silly things to you, but they weren’t to her and being taught those things, means the world to me.

I learned the importance of her actually being our mom until the day came she could be our friend. The importance of saying no even when I’m sure it hurt her more than it did us. The importance of shielding and sheltering us from things our friends were doing when we thought we wanted to do those same things. The importance of not going with the crowd even when that was most popular.

I learned the importance of a clean home and being meticulous. The importance of a home that smelled good and one we were never embarrassed to bring our friends to.

I learned to love God and trust him in all things. I learned that this world would let us down, but God was always faithful.

I learned to love music, although I wish I had taken the time to really pay attention when she made me take piano lessons. I learned about talent and working hard to embrace that talent.

I learned the importance of hard work in anything you did and the importance of always showing up and giving 110%, even if you didn’t love it.

I learned to show up on time and how rude that was when you made somebody late, or showed up late for something.

I learned the importance of family and how nobody would ever be there for you like your family. Through thick and thin.

I learned how to smile with grace even when you felt knocked down and to believe that somehow things would always turn out.

I learned the importance of organization in all areas of life and how much in life that would save you in.

I learned the importance of the truth and apologies if you were wrong.

I learned the importance of giving back and helping others.

I learned the importance of always taking responsibility for your actions.

And the number one thing I learned was that no matter how bad I failed, no matter how bad I screwed up, no matter how much of a mess I made of things, she was always going to be there cheering me on, being my number one fan! I learned I could never do anything so bad that she wouldn’t love me and be right there to pick me up.

As you read this today, if you were blessed enough to have a mother like this, I hope it makes you swell up with pride and realize how blessed you were. If you did not have a mother like this, and you are a mother, maybe it will make you want to be this kind of mother and choose to leave this type of legacy for your children.

I love you mom and I hope and pray that I handle life, with all it’s ups and downs with the same grace you have! Happy Mother’s Day!

With love for you all,

Shauna

One morning last week as I got up with a heavy heart about a situation. I just decided I was done, I can’t do this anymore! I’ve checked out, I have to remove myself because no matter how hard I try, or how hard I fight, there’s heartache, there’s misunderstandings, there’s arguments, there’s pain. I have the physical capability to remove myself from the situation, and last week as I got up that’s where I was at.  I just decided to check out, it’s not worth it, I’m not needed, it hurts too bad. Then like I always do every morning as I’m getting ready for work, I decided to listen to a podcast. It was somebody whose books I’ve read, but I had never listened to the podcast. While listening, it was like God spoke to me right in the middle of that message and let me know that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be, and I cannot check out on the situation or on this person, that they need me, and I might be the only opportunity that they have in life. So therefore, I must endure some hurt, endure some heartache for that is only temporary and the real blessing is down the road.

Talk about punching me in the gut. That wasn’t what I wanted to hear! I wanted sympathy and to be told it’s okay, you’ve tried, you’ve done the best you can, just check out! Have you ever just wanted to give up on something or somebody, and you know that would be the easiest choice, that would be the easier road to take, but that’s not always the right road to take? Was there somebody that never checked out on you even when things got tough? I would say we can all think of at least one person.

Please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying today. If you are in any kind of an abusive relationship with anybody, be it a romantic relationship, a family member, a friend etc, and that relationship is in any way unhealthy and abusive, I am not telling you to not check out of that relationship! What I am saying is if you know your purpose is in influencing and helping and teaching and guiding someone, you have to fulfill that purpose! Somebody is depending on you! My decision to check out could have had a lifelong impact on this person’s life. I could possibly change the course of this person’s life forever. Negative or positive. I’m not sure about you, but I for one don’t want to live with that guilt the rest of my life.

Maybe that person is yourself. Maybe you’re tired of life and you’re ready to check out on yourself. I plead with you today, don’t do that either. You have a purpose in this world! Take the time, take a deep breath and see what you’re being guided toward today. I’ve been here too. So many times I wanted to check out on myself. Just fall apart, cry, throw a fit, feel sorry for myself, life is hard and I can’t go on, but if you do fall apart, shed those tears, throw that temper tantrum, and then get back up! Somebody out there depends on you! Somebody out there needs your influence! Somebody out there needs your love! Somebody out there needs your testimony! Somebody out there needs what only you can give! Somebody needs you!!

So what is your purpose today? Do you know? Do you know, but you want to suppress it because you think it won’t be easy? Nothing worth having is easy. Life isn’t easy, but I guarantee you that if you make a difference in just one person’s life, someday you will see the big picture, forget the nights you cried, forget the pain you endured, and just see joy. Joy that comes from truly finding and living your purpose! If you change a life, you will find fulfillment that words can never truly describe! Don’t give up today! Keep fighting the fight, and if you throw in the towel and it’s thrown back at you, well, then wipe off your face!

With love for you all!

Shauna

Anybody out there ever guilty of saying, I will do it tomorrow? I have both hands up right now because I do. Not a lot, I’m really not a procrastinator by nature, but I do it. Tomorrow I will read that book. Tomorrow I will work out and eat healthier. Tomorrow I will get back to church. Tomorrow I will call that friend or relative. Tomorrow I will finish that degree. Tomorrow I will organize my closet. Tomorrow I will de-clutter. I will be a better employee tomorrow. I mean I could go on all day long with this! Are you getting the picture? Are you guilty?

I understand that some times we have things that cannot happen until tomorrow. You might in fact be preparing for something for tomorrow, it’s a goal you have set, and every day you are working toward that goal. That’s fantastic, and not what I’m talking about here. What I am talking about is all the stuff we put off until tomorrow, but somehow, tomorrow comes and goes and we’re still where we were before we started. Some people are just naturally procrastinators by nature. Takes all kinds of people to make up this great big wonderful world. I for one am not a procrastinator, I wasn’t wired that way. I will stay up until the wee hours of the night finishing a project around my house or work that needs to be done or preparing something for the next day, but even I am guilty of saying I will do it tomorrow about some things, and I am telling myself today that if I keep doing that, it’s never going to happen.

For ten years now I have started and stopped a budget and paying off debt. Did you hear how long I said I have been doing that? 10 years!!!!!! But then I see something I just have to have NOW! Really?! Am I going to die if I don’t have that dress, or that lantern on my deck, or that chair for my living room? What I really should be doing is saving and preparing to buy that, not charging it. So ten years later, there’s still debt that I’ve been working on! Great plan putting that off until tomorrow huh!?

What have you been putting off for tomorrow and like me, ten years later, you’re stuck in the same place? A degree that you set out to get? A home you wanted to buy? Think about this for a minute, are you doing anything today to get you closer to what you want? Are you planning to fail or failing to plan?

I wish we would all wake up and stop letting life pass us by still stuck in the same rut year after year, setting those new years resolutions that we never stick to. Wouldn’t life be so much better if we followed through with something? Wouldn’t we feel like we have succeeded at something?

So today, heed my warning! Do it today! Don’t put it off for tomorrow. We are not promised tomorrow so why not start today? Lose that 10 pounds, eat more veggies, learn to swim, read those books you bought, finish that degree, take that cooking class, spend more time with those you love. Don’t lay on the couch every day depressed because life is passing you by and dreaming of having what others have. You can have it too! Nothing in your life, your childhood, your upbringing has the power to stop you if you don’t let it! Sure, some have better opportunities than others and advantages, but if you want something bad enough, you will find a way to get it!

I hope today, that you get off the couch, and GO GET IT!

With love for you all,

Shauna

Tonight, while cleaning out my shed and organizing, I found what you see in the picture above. This is baby blankets that belonged to me and my brother. I kept these things because I planned on using them some day.  For my baby. My baby, that I was never able to have. I can’t be the only one that ever dreamed of Suburbia 2.4. You know, the family with 2.4 kids. That’s what statistics used to say you will have. No, I didn’t have 2.4 kids. I married somebody with 2 kids..twice I married somebody with 2 kids, but I never had the 2.4 kids that statistics said I would have. I planned for it though! I kept all the baby clothes. I even bought stuff for those 2.4 kids I would never have. Yep…then I had to have a garage sale to sell for those 2.4 kids I never had. Anybody else?

Growing up, I planned for those babies I would never have. I named them, I bought for them, I dreamed about them,  I sure did. Then I grow up and with husband number 1, the one who said I was too fat and too stupid to raise kids, I say I hope you are enjoying those 3 kids God blessed you with! And then to husband #2, I really enjoyed helping raise his two kids. I loved those kids with every part of my being. When that didn’t work out, and your family didn’t want me having any part of their lives, I backed off. Now, for the past 12 years, I have enjoyed a hand in raising two more.

Yes, it is a real blessing being given step-children to raise. A chore I don’t take lightly, but you know what? Those kids will never look like me , those kids are not my blood and no matter how much I love them, and how much I try to help their parents raise them, they are not my babies. But wait! They are just as much my babies as if I had been through 12 hours of labor for them! You know why? I may not have been the one to bear any of them, but I lay awake at night concerned with their safety, concerned they will turn out, concerned they will be decent human beings who love, have compassion and are decent human beings that are kind and care about the human race and giving back to society! Just because they are not genetically mine doesn’t mean I can’t influence the kind of people they turn to to be.

This is where I lose the big picture, pitty myself and want to go cry in the corner because I so desperately wanted a little Shauna running around. Oh yes, I named her! Sydney Joy, or Isabella Joy, those were the names I had chosen, but she didn’t exist in real life, at least not for me, but for some reason, in the big picture, I wasn’t meant to be a biological mother. I don’t know why. I can’t keep asking why, I will truly lose it, but I have to trust there is a reason.

Maybe you are where I am tonight, or maybe you have been blessed with children and don’t know quite what you’re going to do to insure they turn out, but I say this, if you have been blessed with them, do everything in your power to help them turn out to be decent human beings, even if that means being the bad guy. Some day I promise they will thank you for being the bad guy! If you’re like me, and couldn’t have any biological kids yourself, then jump in where you can, and make a difference! Either way, you’re making a difference, and isn’t that what we all want to do?

With love for you all,

Shauna

 

 

Do you struggle with people’s opinion of you and what others think and say about you? I know I’m not alone in this struggle. I feel it’s human nature to want people to like us, care about us, support us, not talk about us behind our backs and never let us down. People are human though, we’re not perfect beings and there will be times people will let us down. They won’t mean to always, but they will let us down. Lord, we let ourselves down so how can we expect others not to let us down!?

I am the kind of person who wants to fix everything for everybody. The kind of person who tries too hard, at my own expense, but I think it’s just in my nature to be this kind of person, so I have to expect that I’m going to get hurt. I don’t know any other way to be, and I don’t think God would want me any other way. I have hurt people, I have let people down, but never intentionally. I have a big heart, and would never intentionally hurt anyone, but at this stage in my life, I realize there are a lot of people who I have obviously hurt and lately, I have felt it maybe better, or should I say safer, to just retreat and stay in my own little world with just a few people that I deem to be safe. Ever feel that way?

I have a family member going around town telling anybody that will listen that I will have nothing to do with them. That is 100% not the truth in how this went down, but at this point, I don’t have the strength to defend myself. I have a friend who I have known the biggest portion of my life who no longer treats me the same way, obviously over something she’s been told. At first I wanted to fight back and tell her she doesn’t now the whole truth, but again, I’m tired and don’t want to defend myself. And…there’s another one who has been telling people that I (I won’t use the word they used) screwed them over. Again, there’s way more to the story, but I don’t want to go there either. I’m not saying I am totally innocent in any of those situations, but I also cannot take full responsibility and put all the blame on myself like the devil has been wanting to do lately to drag me down, to keep me silent, to keep me feeling alone, undeserving and fighting within myself.

Have you ever experienced anything like I list above? I’m sure you have. So why is it in life that we focus on those few people who choose to attack us, instead of the large amount of people who think we’re pretty great. Who think we’re kind, loving, always there for them, even if there is sometimes distance due to life, and who wants to cheer us on? I recently listened to a Rachel Hollis podcast where she interviewed John Maxwell. John says anytime you’re in leadership or just living life, you’re going to have people talk about you and judge you, and say untrue things about you. You just have to know it’s going to be but no matter how much it may hurt sometimes, you have to keep going. We cannot live a life of purpose if we are always being drug down by what people are saying about us. You’re always going to make somebody mad, not be enough for them, not be there enough, not do and say the right things. ALWAYS! Sometimes people just look to others and judge and say things out of their own insecurities and hurt.

I am saying this to myself today because the past few days I have really let myself get down about this. I have never been one to have any trouble making friends, getting along with others and being a team player. Never in my life. It’s not even in my nature. It just seems sometimes that we let people in, let them get too close and then when we get hurt, we want to just turn inward and decide that never again is anybody getting in. Has it ever occurred to us though, that maybe it wasn’t in God’s plan for you to remain close to that person in where you’re going? Doesn’t make them a bad person, doesn’t make you a bad person, but maybe they are not a part of your destiny. Can you forgive them, can you forgive yourself and just know you must love them from a distance and that’s okay for you? If you try to look ahead and at the bigger picture, you might realize that to grow, there are some people you can’t take along on your journey.

I urge you today, this Easter weekend, to not focus on the naysayers. Don’t focus on the negative, don’t focus on the gossip, or the hurt. Focus on the blessings in your life. There is somebody who loved us so much that he died for us. I’m not sure there’s anybody else in my life that would make that kind of sacrifice for me so today, I know that I am loved, and you are too! Focus on that love and all the love that really is all around you. Maybe it’s only a handful of people that truly know and love you, but isn’t that enough? Don’t let a few people steal your joy!

With love for you all,

Shauna

Flipping through Facebook this morning and this quote pops up. I couldn’t seem to scroll beyond it. It seems it struck a chord this morning. Read it for a minute and really think about it. I can’t be the only one who gets on social media and sometimes begins to feel less than. Don’t get me wrong, social media is great, it allows me to get my blog out there and hopefully help some other people, but it can also make you feel pretty crappy if we’re being totally honest.

Have you ever thought about how much time you spend on social media? Do you get that little pop up on Sundays now that tells you your phone usage and how it’s up or down? I hate that little message! It makes me feel like I’ve lost those hours of my life, or lost time I could have been doing so many other things in my week. Yet, we’re all so tied to our phones and social media.

I recently started changing the way I start my mornings. Used to, I would get up, have my coffee and immediately go to Instagram and Facebook. I started feeling like that was not a productive way to start my day so I stopped and instead, I start with scripture reading, a devotional, some inspirational readings I follow, and then I let myself get on Instagram and Facebook. It’s ridiculous how hard that was at first and how much I had to fight against that, but I have found that my day starts so much better than feeling inadequate from something I have seen on social media.

I can’t be the only person out there that sees things out there that makes me feel awful about myself. The amazing bodies at the gym that points out that my work outs have been slacking and that spirals into feeling like a slob. Or, maybe you see Martha Stewart incarnate out there decorating, cooking, gardening and you feel like less of a woman or less of a wife or mother.

How about feeling like your friends have left you out of something. Oh….that just struck a chord. Talk about the feelings and emotions that stirs up, and boy does that one spiral out of control, and makes us create all kinds of stuff in our head that quite possibly couldn’t be any farther from the truth. Anybody else? Just me? I doubt it!

Think about something though. How often do you see anybody post that their dinner was a disaster, or their Pinterest inspired creation looks like their baby did it, or that they  barely got to work with their hair halfway done, two different shoes on, and their lunch still sitting on the table? How often do you see anybody post, man, fought with my kid this morning, no, I’m not super mom. Or my husband is so mad at me for running up that card, or buying something we don’t need. NEVER! Never do you see those things! How about I failed that class, my degree is going to take longer but I’m still plugging away at it. No, we will see the graduation picture at the end.

My point is that we never see people be truly honest on Facebook and I’m not preaching to you, I do the exact same thing! I posted so many pics of my 30 pounds I lost. I post of my trips that I’m blessed to go on. I post about my amazing husband, 90% of the time he is amazing. I post meals I cook. I have never posted that I didn’t go to the gym for a week, or my husband left for work mad at me, or I burned the burgers last week, which I did!

We need to stop letting these avenues get us down and making us feel like less of a person because we’re barely hanging on every day and seriously doing the best we can. I’m not saying judge anybody for what they post. I love to see people’s lives being blessed. Seeing them getting healthy, being blessed enough to travel, seeing their kids get awards and being successful, but we must realize, they are not perfect and they have bad days, bad weeks, bad months and years just like we do. Don’t set yourself up for failure before you even try because you’re not feeling like you measure up! And, on a side note, so many people are posting things trying to be inspirational and provide help in this crazy world we live in. Try to see things from that vantage point, not that they’re trying to prove that their life is great, and make you feel bad.

Keep plugging away, striving every day to be the best you can! Keep working out for that healthy body! Keep cooking that meal and trying new recipes until you perfect it! Just keep trying and giving yourself a little more credit for the effort! Don’t compare your life to others and spend your days upset that you don’t measure up! You do measure up, maybe differently, but that’s okay! We all have our stories for a reason! It’s our story! It’s our life and our path, no matter how crooked or ugly it might be sometimes! It’s ours, and it’s okay that we don’t measure up to unrealistic standards!

With love for you all,

Shauna

Has God ever sent you a word? And kept sending it, and kept sending it?! Okay, I hear you!! That’s what I have been telling myself in the past couple of weeks. For an entire week the word compassion has jumped off pages at me. The next week, the word joy jumped off of everything I read. It’s been a rough few weeks. Death, family issues, a car wreck and on and on. Why does life have to be so hard sometimes?! I literally fell apart after the car wreck and then, I shook myself, and felt stupid! It was a car wreck, nobody is hurt, the car can be fixed, why am I being so stupid and emotional?! Okay, stop right here!! I am human and it’s been hard, I can only take so much in just a few days! Bring on the judgment about what I’m not, what I should be, what can I do better and more of and less of. It never stops! My lack of compassion for myself never stops!

I’ve always felt like I was a pretty compassionate person. If you would’ve asked me, I would’ve told you that I was. You know who I never had compassion for though? Myself! As I really search and study compassion, I’m finding, that I’m not the most compassionate person. If I can’t be compassionate with myself, how can I find compassion for you? If I’m judging myself, most likely I’m judging you as well! Why can I feel sorry and compassionate for a friend going through something I have gone through, or better yet, a complete stranger, and I can’t feel compassion for myself in the same situation?

Colossians 3:12 says in part “Therefore, as God‘s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion,  kindness,  humility, gentleness and patience.” Do you think that means have compassion and kindness, gentleness and patience for everybody else, but none for ourselves? I sincerely doubt that! Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we see all of our faults and call ourselves stupid when we mess up, or when we don’t look like everybody thinks we should, or act like everybody else thinks we should, or be the perfect friend, mother, wife, daughter, employee, etc.

I am a good cook, but when I have people over for dinner, I will sit and explain that something is dry or overly done or too this or too that. Why do I do that? I know how to cook! But I want to explain it away, explain all that is wrong with it every time, instead of taking a compliment about how great it is. I have a pretty good fashion sense thanks to my mother. Yet every time I receive a compliment I cannot say thank you. I explain away how old it is, or I just threw it together. I’m a good person, yet when I am not perfect in a situation, I take all the blame on myself for whatever happened, instead of seeing that just maybe I was having a bad day, or a bad week or month, and I handled the situation as best I could at that moment. No, I sit for weeks and beat myself up. Why not start showing the same compassion to yourself that you show for others?

Don’t let other people put levels of perfection on you so high that you will never reach them! If you are alive and breathing you are a work in progress! You haven’t seen your best days yet! Our world has become such a place that we almost gloat in peoples pain and sorrow when they fall, lose their job, go through a divorce, a home lost, anything instead of having any kind of compassion, and we do it to ourselves as well.  We are all human, we are all striving and trying,

What I realize now,  is that I’ve had people expect a level of perfection out of me throughout my life that was never humanly possible. So to me, perfection became a validation of love, a validation of acceptance, and the validation of my word. And I ran with that! Perfection to me became the only way I thought people would think I was great, and love me. I put a level of perfection on myself that no human being could ever live up to. Not even God expected that level of perfection for me, he didn’t make me perfect. Nobody was made perfect! What we have to realize is that when people put those levels of perfection and expectations on us, that is their imperfections and the way they feel about themselves coming through! I have put such a high level of perfection on myself that it is caused stress, worry, fear, anxiety and depression.

When we see someone who is trying to do something, instead of judging them for doing a bad job, let’s have compassion on them for what they’re trying to do! That coworker who really is great in a certain area, instead of being threatened and jealous of that, help them with that, help them grow that. That friend, who is trying to do something, instead of being jealous that they’re going to be something you’re not, have compassion for their journey and their goals, and help them! The old saying is so true that we rise by lifting others. That’s not just some great saying that you share on Facebook and Instagram, there is real meaning behind that, but, you also rise by lifting yourself! Having compassion for others will also help you have compassion for yourself! We are all on a journey together just trying to do the best we can! If you help others, you see greatness in others that you try to help develop, then maybe you see greatness in yourself that you try to develop as well. I promise, things in your life will begin to change!

So today, don’t see all that’s wrong about you. Pick yourself up, put a smile on your face and know that you are imperfectly you and we need YOU, just as God made you!! Joyful, compassionate, beautiful, broken YOU! Cause you know what!?!? There is a purpose for all your imperfections!

With love for you all!

Shauna

The last few days, I have experienced something that has affected me so very deeply. I have had things in my life multiple times that have knocked me to my knees with what life has handed me, but this time it’s different. This time feels like a shaking saying Shauna WAKE UP! WAKE UP to your life! Stop fretting over people who don’t matter! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Stop feeling like life has dumped on you, and somehow not been what you thought! Stop looking at other people and wondering why they have it so easy and they’re not even decent human beings, and do nothing to help others. Just STOP!!

I have experienced death before. Loss of grandparents, loss of an uncle, but no death has hurt me to my core like watching a beautiful 30 year old girl who came into my life when she was around 10 pass. I watched her over the past 5 years in her struggle with cancer. I watched her with grace as she struggled to find out she would never be a mother, as I offered to help in any way I could because I understood that pain. I know she had her bad days, and I heard about them from her mother, but I never experienced them. Anytime I saw her, she would have a smile on her face and say she was doing fine.

So I sit around stressed and tired, wondering why I couldn’t have a baby, wondering why life has kicked me down, but I have an amazing husband who is crazy about me. Something she longed for. I have  been given step-children, something she most likely would have been thrilled with. I have cousins and friends who have kids that I have been blessed to be close to. What is so wrong with my life? Nothing! Nothing is wrong with my life! I have life breathing through my body and she does not. I was able to sit and hold her hand the night before she passed and I just prayed God would give her peace and finally she would be free from pain. Pain! That’s a whole different subject. Yes, I have endured pain in my life, but again never the kind of physical and emotional pain she had to endure!

So today, in Kassi’s honor, I believe she would tell us this. Get off your phones! Stop living your life for people on social media that you don’t even know, and who don’t even matter. Stop basing how many friends you have based on your number of followers and the people who like your posts. Those people aren’t really your friends! Spend more time at the dinner table with your family. Spend more time in the yard with your kids, or laying on their beds asking how their day was and what’s going on in their lives. You will never get that time back! Stop worrying if your house is clean, or your laundry is done, visit a friend, visit a family member, even if you have to drive to see them.  Book the airline ticket and spend a few days with those who live away that you don’t often see. We are not promised tomorrow, and as I said this week in a post, will you do it now or will you wait until your deathbed and wish you had?

Kassi, go rest high! Your work here on earth isn’t done if we take up where you left off and live a life of intent! Don’t let this just be words on a page, let them resonate with you and cause you to re-think how you’re living your life. Not just today, but every day! Think about the things that truly matter and all your blessings!

With love for you all,

Shauna

My brother is literally 2200 miles away from me, but sometimes we are so much on the same wavelength that it is scary! He and my mom are my sounding boards about everything! They hear it all! When I’m happy, when I’m sad, when I’m scared, when I’m depressed, when I’m lost, they know it all! I recently sent them a text and I was so upset over a situation that I couldn’t see the big picture, or a way out. Sitting at my desk one morning, my brother sends me a text and says you need to call me, I need three minutes! I went into the conference room to call him, he says to me, you have been on my heart for three days, I need to tell you something, you need to shut up and listen to me, and don’t get defensive. In the course of that conversation, he said this, and I quote “What if your biggest frustration is your biggest blessing disguised as trouble?”

Deep!! It took me 24 hours to really process what he was saying. He told me about this great opportunity that I was being handed and I wasn’t seeing it! He told me how I needed to quit doubting myself and realize my potential, and what I am capable of doing!

What if you were keeping yourself stuck in lack, stuck in depression, stuck in life because you’re failing to see the blessing of where you’re at! What if it is really you keeping yourself stuck in that rut! The mind is a very funny thing! The heart is a very funny thing! Like the Scripture says, as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

What are you doing right now to get out of your rut, to get unstuck from that deep wet muddy situation that you’re in. Are you spending so much time staring at the dark rainy clouds to see that the rainbow has popped out and that the sun is shining over your life?

Honestly, for me the jury is still out on whether I find this situation a blessing or not, but maybe by changing my attitude about it, I will gain clarity and direction that I wouldn’t receive if I were just sitting around down in the dumps only seeing the bad in it. This troubling situation may just be the education that I need to change things in my life and without it, I wouldn’t change. I don’t know yet, but I know that when we need wisdom and direction in our life, God sends us a word, a person, a situation, to shake us, to wake us up and re direct us on where we’re going.

So, I say this again…Is your biggest frustration your biggest blessing disguised as trouble? Change your thinking and you might find your answer.

With love for you all,

Shauna