Author: shaunassisters

What is a perfect life to you? Being married to the same person and celebrating 50 years of marriage, having 2.2 kids, watching them grow, marry and come home with their 2.2 kids for Sunday dinner around the table? Having the same job and retiring from there after 25 years? Having the perfect home, with the perfect white picket fence, a spouse that adores you and driving the perfect kids around in your perfect SUV or mini van, and being PTO mom of the year? I’m not going to lie to you, that used to be my view of perfection and to some, it may still be. You may be blessed enough to be living that life, counting your blessings every single day. If that’s you, my hat is off to you and it makes my heart happy!

As I set last night reflecting on my past, and my life, that is for sure not the pictures you will see in the photo albums of my life! Not even close to what you will see! As I looked back, marriage, divorce, no kids, a few more jobs than I would have liked in my life, some hard years where I really had to soul search, I began to really get angry with myself and I began to really mourn what I thought my life was going to look like at 45. Anybody else ever been there? I very quickly had to change my thoughts around or else I would probably have gone and hit the pantry and ate myself into a coma. Whose picture of my life am I trying to attain anyway? Who said all of those things I listed as a perfect life are in fact some idea of perfection? Whose judgments am I putting on myself? And besides, the past is the past. It is my past and there is nothing I can do about it now. At this point, all I can do is think somewhere in my mess is a message. Somewhere in my life hopefully somebody said she fought, she’s a fighter and she keeps getting up every single time!

So why do we spend time looking back?? You know in our cars, the review mirror is smaller, and the windshield is bigger. Why is that? We are not supposed to spend so much time looking back! Did you learn? Did you grow? Did you become better? Did you ask for forgiveness? Okay, so then who is telling you to feel guilty about it all? I am a woman of faith and at this point in my life, I better understand God’s grace and mercy and if I look back, not with guilt, I can see that God always brought me through, and I believe he has forgiven me for any past failures. He can use those things to help other people going through similar things!

Besides, look how blessed my life has been and is now! I have a husband who adores me. I have a husband who works through hard things with me. I have been given step kids. I have had some amazing jobs that allowed me to meet some amazing people, and travel to some amazing places. Do I wish that I still had my job working for my brother from home that allowed me to go to the gym every morning for 2 hours and travel to CA a few times a year? Yes, I do, but God has another plan for me.

So where do I find myself today? Not depressed like I went to bed! I find myself hopeful that what is coming in my future is so much better than I could have dreamed up for myself. Do I have a vision and do I have goals and a dream? I sure do and I believe somehow that they’re going to come through.

Please don’t sit and look back with guilt, shame, unrest and blame on yourself today. See that you have some amazing blessings in your life and those tests are your testimonies and those messes are your messages! Decide today to dream again and have a growth mindset and look forward with hope and anticipation. If you are really honest with yourself right now anyway, my guess is that your depression from your past lies a great deal in other people’s opinions and judgments of you. Well listen to me my sister, listen to me my brother, those people couldn’t have walked half a mile in your shoes so why let them matter now? They don’t and that’s not whose opinion we should be worried about anyway!

With love for you all,

Shauna

If any of you are like me, you have found yourself lately stressing over the future and trying to figure everything out, every single detail. From the very first day I was home, I was stressing over reading, doing webinars, learning, growing, getting better, feeling better. What started as good intentions very quickly began to consume me. I got to where as soon as I jumped out of bed and did my morning routine, I would come straight to my office and was obsessed with doing anything to make me feel like I was growing in some way. It literally began to consume me. Three weeks in, my mom told me I needed to stop, and just be, and relax and clear my mind. I couldn’t I said! I have to do something, I don’t know what’s happening in the future. She finally just let me be, but that particular Monday, as I set down and opened my laptop I felt God say to me rest your mind. I literally closed my laptop, got up, shut off my office light and didn’t return to my office that entire week. I barely read that week either. Instead, I worked in my yard and with my plants and around my house. As I began to relax, I realized that what everybody was trying to tell me, was right, just be still!

Do you ever find yourself trying to do too much in life? Do you find yourself overwhelmed and tired, not just mentally but physically and you feel like you can’t go one more minute? I think one lesson we’re all learning right now is to just stop and be. Just stop and focus on our joy! Just stop and focus on our peace! Just stop and focus on all the things that are important in our lives. Too often we can run ourselves ragged trying to do and be for everybody else. When we are in that place, we become stressed and depressed and it feels like life is literally falling in at our feet. We were not meant to live that way! Yes life can be so very hard, and right now the uncertainty of life is almost overwhelming, but you know that it is possible, yes even right now, to just rest and just be!

I think for me, and maybe you, it’s a way to control things, but there are so many things we cannot control, no matter what we do. You cannot control what other people are going to do. You cannot control the economy. You cannot control things that can happen in your health. You cannot control never being hurt. You cannot control the weather. I love a saying I saw recently that said our hair is put on our head to teach us simply there are things we cannot control. Now that’s funny but how true? Does your hair look perfect every single day no matter if you do the exact the same thing? No! It doesn’t even look the same every single day regardless. So why do we think we can control what is going on around us by busying ourselves and driving ourselves crazy? We cannot control everything!

If anybody finds themselves where I found myself, I urge to stop! Stop and smell the roses! Stop and be kind to yourself! Stop and find your joy! Stop and find your inspiration. For me, that is in God and the Bible, for you, you may call it something else, but wherever you go to find that peace and that strength and that rest, go there! I urge you to just stop and be! Your inspiration and your direction for life will be there when you just stop and be!

Go run through the flowers and watch the birds! Pay attention to the wind blowing and the chimes making beautiful music! Smell the crisp air and watch a beautiful sunrise or sunset, or the sound of the ocean waves. Just be still! You will get your inspiration and direction for the future, and you will be an inspiration to those around you!

With love for you all,

Shauna

Boy what a time we find ourselves in right now. I just started my fourth week of being home. I have only gotten dressed out of sweatpants maybe once. I have only done my hair twice in 4 weeks. I can’t remember the last time I filled my car up. I have carried out pizza twice, otherwise, I have literally cooked every single day for the past month. I have barely worked out. I am baking like I own a bakery. I have deep cleaned my entire house, power washed the outside and mulched. I have been taking classes online every single day, reading, doing devotions and trying to grow during this. I am sleeping later than I would, and have only had 4 diet cokes in 4 weeks. I have had days where I was up and felt good, and days where I felt down and depressed and worried about the future. I have Facetimed and Zoomed more than I have in my entire life, but I am keeping in daily contact with some important people in my life and that feels good! Does any of that sound familiar?

All this down time has given me so much time to think. So much time to self reflect. So much time to think about my life, where I’ve been, and where I might be going. So much time to see that I have quite a bit to work on, but overall I feel proud of the fact that I do have ability to see my shortcomings and work on them. Overall I am proud of the growth I have had in my dark days and the blessings I see in my good days! Here are some things I have realized of late.

Sometimes you win some, sometimes you lose. Sometimes truth prevails, sometimes lies seem to be winning, but in the end, truth always prevails. We must always remember that! Friends will come and go, when they go, you will feel loss, sometimes like a divorce is happening, but you have to trust the process. Sometimes people aren’t meant to stay in our lives, sometimes they don’t even have our backs, but we fight to keep them there longer then they should be. Sometimes our journey leads us down paths we never saw coming, away from places we thought we would be, and that’s okay. Sometimes lies were told about us and people believed them, if they did, they were never a part of our journey to begin with. Sometimes life hurts and is hard, but just maybe that is because we’re not on the right paths, and headed in the right direction. Sometimes life is just hard to teach us something. Sometimes we must learn our place. Sometimes we must learn we can’t control everything. Sometimes we must learn that no matter how much we do, with some people we will never win, and that’s their choice! That’s okay!

We all have a journey! Our own journey. Seasons change. We grow, we change. People come and go. Life has ups and downs, but you know what, every day, we walk just a little farther on our journey of life. Some paths of my journey I am proud of. Some I would rather erase. Some I wish nobody saw, but the truth is, just like you, I have my own journey. I cannot change the past, I can only work on the future. I believe we are all going to come through this time changed, and I think we almost have to. For some reason, life had to stop for us. For some reason, we need to learn something. For some reason, we need to really take a look at what truly matters in life. So what will you do differently on your journey in the days to come? Hold on to hate and bitterness? Gossip? Stay the same? OR…hold on to hope and be grateful? Love? Will you realize people are doing the best they can and we all deserve a little grace and compassion? I heard yesterday that nobody is at their best in a crisis. We have to give people a break. We have to give ourselves a break above all else!

In the days ahead, I want to help myself and others get small wins every day. I want to applaud myself and others for doing the best we can! I want to be an encourager! I want to see the opportunity and come through this changed and different, and realizing that my journey may be headed down a different path, but it can be a great one, and change can be good. Likewise, maybe not much will change in my life, but I know I am changed, forever changed, and seeing life through a very different lens. You have heard me say before that I don’t like change, it’s scary, but at this point in my life, I see life had to change!

What will you do going forward? Embrace change or fight to stay where you were? Only you can make that decision! Only you can decide to come through this with a little more love in your heart!

With love for you all, Shauna

I am starting my third week of being home during this time we find ourselves in with this Covid-19. The first two weeks I struggled to find or upkeep any kind of routine. That’s strange because I spent almost 5 years working at home and I had my schedule and routine down back then so not sure why I am struggling with it now, but I am. I think sometimes we let life get in the way of doing what we know we should be doing. I decided yesterday that today I would wake up and get back to a schedule and a routine with healthier habits. I needed to for my own sanity. I don’t think we truly understand the importance of a schedule and a routine. I suppose if you don’t care what your future looks like, and you’re okay just going through life without direction, a routine isn’t really important to you. For those who want growth in their life and see a bigger picture, let me urge you to examine your routine and habits. It will say something about where you’re going!

The first thing you need to look at is what time are you getting up and how are you spending your mornings? I have found that the way I spend my mornings dictates how my entire day goes! Personally, I like having my mornings where I can do my devotion, pray, meditate, listen to John Maxwell Minute with Maxwell, work on my Dani Johnson Life Map, journal and practice gratitude, work out and listen to podcasts. I know that sounds like so much, but it’s not really, and if you get up an hour early, you can fit it all in there. I typically listen to the podcasts  either while working out or, or while I am getting dressed and getting my morning started. I just find that if I start my mornings mentally preparing myself, I feel better to conquer the day.  Let me pause and say this. Do not put pressure on yourself to do everything! If you do, this will simply stress you out. Just do what you can! Any small change will lead to big results. Something that helps me do this when I’m actually leaving the house for work during normal times, is to get my lunch ready the night before and decide what I am wearing the night before. This helps remove some stress and be better prepared. The key is to prepare!

I am not saying that what I do is the answer to everything, you need to find what works for you, but if you are aimlessly wondering through your life with no direction, not working on your mental health, not working on your physical health, what is your life going to look like? We were not put on this earth to just simply get by. We were put on this earth to live every day to the fullest and help others! If you are not investing anything into your life, you really have nothing to give anybody else, and what is your life going to look like when you’re 85?  I would venture to say everything in your life might be a wreck too, if you don’t have any kind of healthy habits or a routine. Your house a wreck, you’re never caught up with chores around the house, you never have time to do things that matter, and it seems every second of your life you are simply running from one thing to the next, always tired and exhausted and wondering will you ever get a break. Does that sound familiar at all? Listen life is crazy! We have jobs and kids and spouses and chores and people who need us and places to go and on and on and on! It’s stressful. What I am saying today is that just a few small little changes could drastically change that.

Do you ever look at other people who seemingly have it all together even though they work, have kids to run around, friends to see, family to see, etc? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that they probably know the secret of planning, routine and healthy habits. It’s not that they’re more organized than you, or have more help than you or have less things on their to do list, they have just discovered the importance of routine and scheduling. You can have that too! Maybe it doesn’t come natural to you, but I bet you could learn!

I just simply want to stress to you that right now, more than ever before, you need to work on finding some healthy habits, a routine and schedule. You are being given something right now to do that too! TIME! You have time right now to be prepared to do things different when we get through this. I urge you today set down somewhere with a pad of paper and a calendar and honestly look at your life and what changes you could make. We try to go too fast, we try to do too much. What people really want from us is time spent with them. If you are mentally prepared and in a good place, you will be better able to provide that quality time and that is what matters in life! Your relationships with yourself, God and others is what truly matters so I urge you today to stop and take inventory! I think you will see that doing this will make life better and maybe even a little easier!

With love for you all,

Shauna

I cannot seem to get away from this thought I have been having for weeks now. I just keep pushing it back in my mind, but it keeps rearing back up. Now that this virus is rampant and people are thinking about staying healthy, maybe it’s more in the forefront of our minds, but what if today was your last day? I’m not trying to be morbid, and trust me, I used to be the last person who ever wanted to discuss death, just ask my mom, but the real truth is, we’re all going to die. What is your legacy that you’re leaving behind? What would your obituary say about you? Do you think about what people will say about you? I have been lately, and to my friends who know I get these gut feelings, no, I don’t have one that I am going anywhere anytime soon. I just want to make sure I am leaving this world better because I was in it. I just want to make sure I made a difference in somebody’s life! I want to make sure I did everything God wanted me to do and put me here to do!

I hope my husband says, she wasn’t perfect but she sure tried to be. She tried to make our home happy and warm and inviting and special to everyone that entered. She was feisty and stubborn but she loved with all her heart and loved me more, even though I told her each day that I loved her more. I hope he says we grew, started to grow apart, but worked through some really tough stuff and came out better than ever! I hope he says we didn’t strive to complete each other, but rather to compliment each other.

I hope my step kids know that I loved them more than anything and that I tried really really hard to be a good step-mom and to never try to take their mothers place. I hope they say I taught them things only I could and made every birthday and holiday special for them. I hope they say I am who I am partly because of her!

I hope my mom says she was the best daughter ever and I was so proud of her. She was like me in so many ways and in ways she wasn’t, I pushed her to be different.

I hope my brother knows how incredibly proud I was of him and how much I wanted to be like him at times! I hope he says miles couldn’t keep our love and bond separated. I also hope he knows he was one of my favorite bosses and how much I appreciated all the neat places I got to go because of him.

I hope my dad knows that I loved him, despite how hard life was with him. I hope he knows I turned out a hard worker like him and a people person just like him.

I hope my friends know that I loved them larger than life and that although being my friend might have been emotional at times, that they were all the sisters I never had and I loved them all so very much and couldn’t have made it without them!

I hope my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents know that I was who I was because of all of them and how incredibly proud I was to be a member of our amazing family!

I hope my bosses and co-workers knew I always tried to leave the work places better than I found them and that I worked hard to make us all successful.

I hope all who knew me was better for knowing me! I hope I motivated, cheered on and brought joy to all those who knew me! I loved you all so very much!

Those unborn babies I could have had. I loved you and would have been the best mommy in the world!

Lastly, I hope God knows I tried hard to serve him like he wanted and if today is my last day, I hope I walk through the pearly gates on streets of gold! I failed so many times, but I really tried despite how hard life was.

Do you know what legacy you’re leaving behind? If you’re not happy with the one you have been leaving, if you’re still breathing, you have a second chance to change and be better! Do it now, before it’s too late!

With love for you all,

Shauna

What does ego mean to you? When I googled ego it says, your ego is your conscious mind, the part of your identity that you consider your “self.” If you say someone has “a big ego,” then you are saying he is too full of himself. Sometimes I believe our ego is actually a means to protect us from those things about ourselves that we really don’t like. Sometimes I think egos are a way of masking our low self-esteem. Sometimes I think our egos keep us from dealing with things we need to deal with! Ouch! I have at times had an ego! I never ever wanted anybody to say she has an ego, but maybe I have!

I am not perfect. I have made and continue to make mistakes. I hurt people when I don’t mean to. I have hurt people because I have hurt. I have hurt my family and friends probably more times than I wish to admit, but I am making strides to be better. I am trying to heal and daily trying to be a better person. Trust me, I know my shortcomings better than anyone! Do you? Or, do you pretend nothing is ever your fault, and everything is always everybody else’s fault? If that’s you, lose your ego! You see, until we lose our ego and deal with who we really are, work daily on our shortcomings, we are never going to have happy and healthy relationships. We will never have a healthy marriage! We will never have healthy friendships! We will never raise healthy kids! I’m speaking here from experience! I’m speaking as someone who has ruined relationships because I didn’t deal with the root cause of why I was acting the way I was, or dealing with the pain deep down inside me. Trust me, I know it’s hard to deal with things we bury hoping they never surface again, but when we don’t deal with hurt, when we don’t deal with pain, when we don’t deal with insecurities, they will come back to visit! Insecurities yell from the mountaintops!

We must learn to apologize and mean it! We must learn to admit we were wrong and mean it! We must learn to really mean it when we say we love someone! We must learn that if somebody just doesn’t feel right, why, and realize they just can’t be in our life. Not out of hate, not out of any negative feelings, but out of self preservation and where we want to go in life! Look we’re all a work in progress! My roadmap is so curvy and marked up with detours and caution tape you might not be able to even see where I’m going, but I choose to stay the course and keep working on myself one detour at a time!

I read something today that said 99% of the harm is caused in your head, by you and your thoughts. 1% of the harm is caused by reality, what actually happens and the outcome. Most of the time the problem isn’t the problem. The way we think about the problem is. Our minds and our thoughts are very powerful things and they can literally cause us to think somebody doesn’t like us, or somebody is talking about us, or an entire dialogue of things. This often comes from things deep down inside of us from things that have happened in our past that have hurt us and caused us to be the way we are, but we can change that dialogue. Again, by getting to the root of the cause! Is it really worth living with these voices and demons from past hurts that continue to cause us to have unhealthy relationships? I think not!

So, to those I have ever hurt or wronged, I’m sorry! For those I ever was negative to, talked about, judged or made you feel less then, I am sorry! Please know, deep down I love you, even if I was wrong.  I am striving to be the person God wants me to be, even if I sometimes trip and fall! I know the plan God has for me and I hope you do too. I know what God is dealing with me to do and who to be! Jeremiah 29:11 says it this way “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I am trying to deal with the root causes of my insecurities, I am trying to lose any bad ego I might have, to be a better person and to be able to help people every single day, not hurt anyone! I hope today that somehow you find the power within you to deal with things you need to so you can have a future and have hope!

With love for you all,

Shauna

As I went to bed last night, I lay there looking up at the heavens so upset with myself for letting my emotions get the best of me lately. Who am I actually trying to kid though, my emotions tend to always get the best of me. I used to love that I was an emotional person, but lately, I find myself hating that trait and wishing I was more calm, cool and collected. I realized this morning that I am that friend that seems to always have something going on and my friends probably hate to see a text from me these days. Who have I become? I don’t know, but last night, I didn’t like me! This morning, I woke up not liking me! I never ever wanted to be that drama-filled emotional friend! How did I get there?

As I went about my morning, trying to get things together for my son’s birthday party this evening, my eyes glanced over to a book on my bar that I just received this week. I felt like I needed to stop and sit down and read. I received this book from a new friend in my life who I just met in November. Inside was a note that said she felt I would benefit from this and prayed the Lord directed my path that I may be clear about his direction. She finished that note with I know he loves you and will guide you on the path he has willed for you. The book is called His Princess, Love Letters from Your King by Sheri Rose Shepherd. So I made myself sit down, take a break and try to listen to what God wanted to tell me and hopefully heal some of the hurt and loss I am feeling right now.

Listen to some of the things I began to read “My Princess…it’s never too late”.  “My Princess…hear my voice.” “My Princess…Triumph Through Trials.”  Let me just totally quote something that jumped off the pages at me. “I see when you are in the garden of grief, My princess. I hear your cry for help in the dark hours of the night. I myself cried out in the garden the night I was betrayed. In my suffering I asked my Father for another way-a less painful way. Yet I trusted his will and purpose for my life and knew the ultimate victory was at the cross. Just as olives must be crushed to make oil, I poured out my life as a love offering for you. Don’t ever doubt that I am with you and that I long to take you to a place of comfort, peace and victory. Even when you cannot see me from where you are, I am working on your behalf. Give to me the crushing weight of your circumstances, and come to me in prayer. When it is time to leave the garden, I will walk  with you across the valley and straight to the cross where your trials will be transformed into triumph. Love, Your Savior and your Victor.”

I don’t know if that did anything for you, but to me, that let me know that God knows exactly where I’m at. God made me just the way he made me and to him I am perfectly made so I need to show myself some grace and stop being so hard on myself. Can I be and do things differently? Yes and I plan to take some time and just work on being the person I want to be. Must I remove myself from certain people or circumstances to get to where I need to go? Maybe, but what if by doing so, I come back stronger and where God needs me to be in a place to better help everybody around me?

If you find yourself in a place right now where you’re beating yourself up, I pray you will stop, stand up and do what you need to do to be better. Life is so hard sometimes! Trust me, I know, and right now I feel like I’m in the pit of a valley for whatever reason, but there is a reason and I can grow here. Show yourself the grace you need to pick yourself up and be all who God intended you to be! Stop trying to fit in! Stop trying to be everything to everybody! Stop caring if everybody likes you! Just be who you were made to be and if you have shortcomings, then work on them! You’re not stuck with bad habits the rest of your life if you make a conscience choice to change them!

So today, please hear me and show yourself some grace! You deserve it! You are awesome and amazing and needed by so many! No matter where we might find our lives, there is redemption for us all!

With love for you all,

Shauna

Did God give you children?? Did you choose who you had children with? You chose the partner, not your kids! YOU chose them! So do you support that other parent? Good or bad, do you point out the importance of that other parent in their lives or do you point out their bad flaws to make yourself appear more important. We never stop to realize that our kids have both of their parents in them so if you point out the flaws of the other parent, you’re basically telling the kid part of them is bad! Your kids genes are your decisions, not their decisions! Okay, that just hit a nerve! Re-read what I said. If you point out the flaws of the other parent, you’re pointing out to your kids what’s wrong with them. Now please stop and realize that I am not saying that the person you chose to have kids with is perfect and you should allow bad traits they might have given your kids to be right. Drugs, alcohol, lying, abuse, etc. is not right and you should never say otherwise, but anyone with any intelligence should see what I am saying here. YOU choose who to have kids with and at some point, you thought it was a good idea and you chose that other person and thought they were good parenting material.

My parents are divorced. Just recently divorced and can I tell you that both my brother and I have parts of both parents, and we know what those traits are. Do you think if my mom set around pointing out our fathers flaws that we would feel better about ourselves? No! We absolutely would not feel good about ourselves. The truth of the matter is that my brother and I got some pretty amazing traits from our father and if our mom pointed those out as flaws we would feel pretty horrible about ourselves. We got some pretty amazing traits from our mother and if our father pointed those out as flaws, we wouldn’t feel so good! You know what though? Our mother sees that we did get some positive parts from our father and she pushes us to realize that, she doesn’t point those out as negative things! You see, my mom has always seen that my brother and I have our father’s outgoing personality and our ability to connect with other people, where she can be painfully shy.  She has always pointed out how lucky we both are to have that trait! She has never said that was a bad thing. EVER! If she did, do you think we would feel those as positive things?

We fail to realize that our kids are the best parts of both parents. Is that bad? Or is that how God created them to be? Will you squash that or support that?

I couldn’t have biological kids, which I don’t and maybe never will understand, but it is what is and I must live with it. Does that mean I can’t help people with kids? No! If I write one thing that helps another family than my pain wasn’t in vain! My brother and I both got positive and negative things from both parents but our parents place is to point those things out as learning experience, as positive things, and to let us know that even though maybe they didn’t work out, we are wonderfully and perfectly made and we got the best traits of both of them. I hear you, you’re thinking maybe they got the bad traits from both, but you know what? If we feel secure in who we are, we will realize those and work on those bad traits without either one of our parents feeling the need to point them out, and tell us where they came from! If you are pointing out the bad in the other parent,  you are wrong and you will not win with your kids! Parents! Your kids NEED both parents! In the Bible, each parent has their role and if you are somehow stopping that, you are wrong! The mom is the nurturer, the dad is the provider and you will not win by trying to stop that relationship! Both parents serve a purpose and have a role!

Some of you are going to stop right there and think what does she know, she has no biological children, but, I do have parents and I know what my parents did right and wrong! I am also a step mom and I see a great deal!

My only reason here is to say this. Your kids are perfectly and wonderfully made with both their parents good and bad traits. So will you be so insecure as to try to be the savior and be the best parent? Maybe you are, and some day you will be rewarded for all your efforts and hard days and sleepless nights and praying your kids turn out better than everybody, but unless the other parent is absolutely horrible, you have to realize your part and realize you have a responsibility to make sure your kids see all their good traits,  regardless of which parent they came from. Remove your ego! It will never ever serve you well! Isn’t the whole reward a decent human being who is successful and kind?

I choose to stop right here and realize that both of my parents were hard working and taught us the value of hard work. My dad was outgoing, never met a stranger and was the life of the party, both me and my brother got that trait. But my mom was kind and helped everybody she met. She made dinner and holidays and birthdays and both us of us her top priority! She taught us the importance of family and being creative and love and being your best and showing up! Sammy and I are far from perfect but I think we both got some pretty amazing traits to build upon! I’m pretty sure your kids did as well! I think it’s time to remove the ego and start supporting each other, regardless of your shortcomings and start seeing the big pictures. It’s not about you, it’s about those children you decided to bring into the world! Those children that you were blessed to have!

With love for you all,

Shauna

We have just ended a decade and another year. What will you choose to do with what you learned over the past decade to move forward to a new decade? Will you keep going just simply living your routine wishing things would be better? Will you fail to see the part you played in the mistakes you made over the past decade, or will you let those mistakes make you better, and strive to do and be different? I love the quote above, you can’t detox an entire decade in a day, be patient with yourself. It’s so true and I am not crazy enough to believe that just taking lessons learned from the past decade and applying them to 2020 is going to make me wake up some amazingly different person. It’s going to take one day at a time. One step at a time. One mistake at a time. One change at a time. One different decision at a time.

I have now been a step mom for a decade and boy let me tell you, that is not for the faint of heart. No matter how much you do and try and love, there will be some heartache along the journey. So do you just stop trying, which is what I am afraid to admit that I have done in recent months, or do you simply realize they will grow up someday and see your heart, and see your intentions and know that you really did love them and want nothing but the best for them? Keep being you if your intentions are pure. If you’re reading this and you have some things to work on, I urge you to do that. Don’t live with regrets! Take a serious look inward and see what you can do to be better. Like it or not, we made the decision to be a step-parent. Also, God put us in their lives for a reason. We have a great responsibility and can have a great influence on another life!

I have now been married for a decade. It’s not always a bed of roses, it’s work, but unless you’re being abused, I think you will find it’s worth the hard work. I have found that this past decade, I have let years of hurt and scars from my past creep into my relationship causing me to take things so very personal and almost believe lies, that in my mind, I made real. I have realized I have put my lack of self love on my husband and have been so incredibly needy of attention and praise that I should have never needed from him. I realized that I was doing things to try to earn a love that I already had and I drove myself absolutely crazy. In that, if he didn’t praise me for every single thing I felt I was doing, my feelings would be so hurt and I felt taken advantage of and unloved. But why!? I don’t have to be his savior in every aspect of life to prove his love for me! But I felt like that, and it seriously ate me to my core trying to be the best at everything! What I have realized over the past few weeks is that he was doing the best he could to be all I needed and live his life as well. Yet, as I look beside me, there he stands every single morning telling me he loves me more.

In the past decade, I have felt pulled in a million different directions, but that was my fault for trying to do too much! On a positive note, I learned over the past decade the importance of slowing down every single morning and spending just one hour on me and my goals and things I am grateful for. I begin taking the time to really learn to set my intentions for the day. I’m not pro at it, but I’m getting there and boy is my joy starting to return! I have found that taking the time first thing in the morning praying and mediating and reading the Bible and devotionals has really allowed me to grow in areas that I needed to grow in! It’s helped me stop being pulled in a million different directions and starting my day stressed before I ever even left the house!

Over the past decade, I had my dream job, lost my dream job, had one of the most stressful jobs ever, but then the decade ended in a job that I am so excited about and I feel is my calling! Funny how life turns around, but the growth and the lessons learned in all three of those things happening could not have come to me any other way! It’s hard when you’re right in the middle of what feels like horrible disruptions in your life that the best lesson comes shining through and you see the silver lining! The things that happen to us normally are happening FOR us, not to us! We must try to change our thinking somehow in those tough times of growth.

So what did I learn over the past decade that is going to make the new decade one that will be remembered more for the good things and not the hard things? I am learning self love! I am learning to budget and how little we can actually live on. I am learning I am stronger than I ever thought I was. I learned forgiveness, not only for others, but for myself! I learned to see things through different lenses! I learned that I want more in life and that’s okay. I learned that I have the ability to help others! I learned that God’s calling and purpose in my life is very different than what I ever believed it was! I learned to trust God in all things and he never fails! I learned who my real friends are! I learned I can’t do everything perfectly! I learned that no matter how hard life can be, I am still standing!

I hope you take some time to reflect on your past decade. I hope you see that you’re meant for more! I hope you see you’re stronger than you ever thought you were! I hope you realize you’re loved by many, flaws and all!

With love for you all,

Shauna

As I set on this New Years Eve Day, last day of 2019, last day of a decade, my thoughts are on 2020. My thoughts are those of hope! My thoughts are those of expectancy for a new year and a new decade. Anybody else with me? We’re all guilty when we’ve had a particularly hard year of really hoping and praying for a better year. We’re all guilty of being anxious and looking for better days! We’re all guilty of setting all of these New Years resolution! Do you know on average how long a resolution lasts before we no longer do it? 12 days! TWELVE DAYS! So statistically, we will be excited and pumped up for 12 days! That’s sad! The gyms will be full, the grocery carts full of fruits and veggies and healthy food, people will be buying planners and schedulers and sitting down to plan out their year to make it different. So why does it only take 12 days before those resolutions are broke? I think in part it’s our lack of planning, it’s our lack of really desperately wanting change bad enough to do things differently, but I think a big part is our minds and how we think!

If you follow my blogs, you know I don’t sugarcoat my feelings or what I’m going through. You know I don’t try to paint a pretty picture when my life isn’t a pretty picture! That being said, I think 2019 might have been one of the worst years of my entire adult life! But, was it really? Yes, I dealt with and am continuing to deal with issues with my father. Yes, I have dealt with trying to get my parents house sold. Yes, I have dealt with a step daughter who no longer lives with us. Yes, I have dealt with my husband hurting, which is flowing into every aspect of his life. Yes, arguments and disagreements in my marriage that have never been here. Yes, work was stressful. Yes, relationships have strained. Yes, I have gained some weight back that I worked so very hard to get off. Yes, my muscles don’t look like they did when I was spending 7 days a week in the gym. Yes, my relationship with God hasn’t been what it once was. Yes, I don’t sleep at night under all the stress, and I wake up heavy. Does any of that sound familiar? Do you ever just feel like you’re being attacked by every angle and wonder is it ever going to end? That’s how I have felt all year. But can I tell you that my thinking has been all messed up, and I have somewhat had a victim mentality too.  I have lost hope some days and lost site of the big picture.

So stay with me for just a minute because I’ve jumped from resolutions to a bad year and you’re probably wondering where is she going with this. I said all of that to say that in this new year that we’re about to embark on, I will not be setting one New Years Resolution. I will be setting goals. I will be setting attainable goals, but I have one big goal and that goal isn’t going to go away in 12 days because I plan to put the work in! I plan to work on it every single day, even when I am feeling attacked! My goal is to work on changing my thinking! Has this year been hard? Absolutely it has, but I have so very much to be thankful for as well! Sitting around feeling sorry for myself does nothing for my future! Sitting around and not trying to maybe see the lesson in these things going on does nothing to my mental stability. Somewhere in all of this is a lesson. Somewhere in all of this is an opportunity for growth within me! I’m in no way saying you can justify every bad thing that happens in life, but in the grand scheme of things, the things I have to be thankful for far outweigh the bad things that have kept me down in 2019!

You see, the things of this world are fleeting. They go away, but our health, our relationships with God and people, those are forever. That legacy that we leave, that is forever. The people that we help, that is forever. I read a scripture this morning that really hit home this thought. It’s found in Philippines 4 and it says “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.” Changing your mind and how you think and see things can absolutely change your life! Negative thoughts will never produce a positive life! Negative thoughts can literally destroy you from the inside out! What if in 2020 you choose to think on good things. What if in 2020 you determine to live a more positive life? What things do you think can happen? You can grow! You can get healthy, mentally and physically! You can educate yourself and be more than you ever dreamed possible! Don’t you deserve that just like the next guy or gal? Spend more time in prayer, reading, meditating, helping others, taking care of your mind, soul and body and lets see just what changes can happen for us all in 2020. It’s like the image above, the comeback is always stronger than the setback! What will you decide to do?

With love for you all,

Shauna