We must show ourselves some grace!

As I went to bed last night, I lay there looking up at the heavens so upset with myself for letting my emotions get the best of me lately. Who am I actually trying to kid though, my emotions tend to always get the best of me. I used to love that I was an emotional person, but lately, I find myself hating that trait and wishing I was more calm, cool and collected. I realized this morning that I am that friend that seems to always have something going on and my friends probably hate to see a text from me these days. Who have I become? I don’t know, but last night, I didn’t like me! This morning, I woke up not liking me! I never ever wanted to be that drama-filled emotional friend! How did I get there?

As I went about my morning, trying to get things together for my son’s birthday party this evening, my eyes glanced over to a book on my bar that I just received this week. I felt like I needed to stop and sit down and read. I received this book from a new friend in my life who I just met in November. Inside was a note that said she felt I would benefit from this and prayed the Lord directed my path that I may be clear about his direction. She finished that note with I know he loves you and will guide you on the path he has willed for you. The book is called His Princess, Love Letters from Your King by Sheri Rose Shepherd. So I made myself sit down, take a break and try to listen to what God wanted to tell me and hopefully heal some of the hurt and loss I am feeling right now.

Listen to some of the things I began to read “My Princess…it’s never too late”.  “My Princess…hear my voice.” “My Princess…Triumph Through Trials.”  Let me just totally quote something that jumped off the pages at me. “I see when you are in the garden of grief, My princess. I hear your cry for help in the dark hours of the night. I myself cried out in the garden the night I was betrayed. In my suffering I asked my Father for another way-a less painful way. Yet I trusted his will and purpose for my life and knew the ultimate victory was at the cross. Just as olives must be crushed to make oil, I poured out my life as a love offering for you. Don’t ever doubt that I am with you and that I long to take you to a place of comfort, peace and victory. Even when you cannot see me from where you are, I am working on your behalf. Give to me the crushing weight of your circumstances, and come to me in prayer. When it is time to leave the garden, I will walk  with you across the valley and straight to the cross where your trials will be transformed into triumph. Love, Your Savior and your Victor.”

I don’t know if that did anything for you, but to me, that let me know that God knows exactly where I’m at. God made me just the way he made me and to him I am perfectly made so I need to show myself some grace and stop being so hard on myself. Can I be and do things differently? Yes and I plan to take some time and just work on being the person I want to be. Must I remove myself from certain people or circumstances to get to where I need to go? Maybe, but what if by doing so, I come back stronger and where God needs me to be in a place to better help everybody around me?

If you find yourself in a place right now where you’re beating yourself up, I pray you will stop, stand up and do what you need to do to be better. Life is so hard sometimes! Trust me, I know, and right now I feel like I’m in the pit of a valley for whatever reason, but there is a reason and I can grow here. Show yourself the grace you need to pick yourself up and be all who God intended you to be! Stop trying to fit in! Stop trying to be everything to everybody! Stop caring if everybody likes you! Just be who you were made to be and if you have shortcomings, then work on them! You’re not stuck with bad habits the rest of your life if you make a conscience choice to change them!

So today, please hear me and show yourself some grace! You deserve it! You are awesome and amazing and needed by so many! No matter where we might find our lives, there is redemption for us all!

With love for you all,

Shauna