While on a zoom with my coach this week, he asked me a simple question. He said “Shauna, do you ever lose your joy?” I had to think about it for a minute. Through coaching, growth, healing, and with so much work on myself, it’s harder than it used to be, but the answer is yes! Sometimes I lose my joy. I will tell you what my response was to him in just a minute, but I have to be honest and say that this week, I have struggled to keep my joy.
I was blessed to be able to spend the week between Christmas and the New Year in Arizona and Nevada, and I have to tell you, it was spiritual for me. Everybody has their own opinion of what spirtual means to them, and honestly, when people told me that it was spiritual, I was skeptical. That was until I saw it with my own eyes. It truly was spiritual to me. I came home from my trip relaxed, motivated, and ready to take on the year, and the first week home boom…it hit me in the face.
As I relaxed into the table at my deep tissue massage this morning, and yes, that’s the only way to go to relieve stress, I realized that I have to show myself some grace, like I do to others. As I lay there with my back completely full of knots, I had to forgive myself and realize I am human. I am going to lose my joy from time to time, and be tested, and that’s okay, but here’s the realization I have had this week. Listen to my response to my coach when he asked me the question. “I do lose my joy from time to time, but I never lose my hope!” That’s what carries me through trying times like this week has been.
This week has been a bit overwhelming to me. We have had some family things, I am trying to settle into a new territory at work, we’ve been snowed in, and yes, it affected me. Part of it is hormones and the anxiety and overwhelm that comes, and nobody wants to talk about it. Yes, I am going to go there, just for a second, but I am going to go there. It’s real! I turned 50 a few months ago, and hear me, it’s real! Guys, it’s not for the faint of heart! Speaking of guys, let me take just a second and say to you, show the women in your life some grace, we didn’t ask for this! We often feel like we are losing our minds, too! Trust me when I say, we don’t like it either, but I think that’s part of what I was experiencing. All the women reading this of a certain age can feel me right now. This caused me to lose my joy! Me! The pioneer of joy! The preacher of joy whose license plate says JOY (remember that for later), I lost my joy. I felt it while teaching a class this week. I feel horrible, but that class didn’t get the best version of me, I felt off, and I don’t like that.
Before I wrap up where I’m going with this, let me tell you something that was the tipping point. I drove to our local Walmart in the middle of yet another snowstorm, and after waiting for 40 minutes with no groceries, and nobody answering the phone in the store. I lost it! As I get out of my car to speak to one of the employees loading groceries for another customer, I tell myself not to lose it on him. Long story short, I was there over 40 minutes only to find out they had given my order to someone else, but wait for it…if I wanted to wait, they would refill my order. Am I being tested this week for what I preach? I think so. Well, I didn’t lose it, but I wasn’t the nicest to the employee, I have to admit. As I am getting back in my car, I look over, and there is an elderly lady who has been waiting very patiently beside her car for her groceries, and she is smiling at me so kindly. As I backed out of the space to leave, she knocked on my window and says to me “I love your license plate.” I thanked her and told her I was struggling to find my joy and she smiled and said “You can get it back.”
As I drove home feeling condemned thinking about that dear sweet lady, I thought of how happy she was, even in those conditions that day, and having to wait. It smacked me in the face. I know better! Life’s circumstances don’t have to cause me to lose my joy! I get to control that. So for those of you who read my posts and wonder is she always joyful? I work very hard to stay joyful, but no I’m not, but hear me, I never lose my hope! The lesson to me this week was just that nobody can take my joy from me without me letting them. There’s very little in life I can control, but that is one that I can. So maybe like me, you’ve lost your joy. I’m here to tell you, you can get it back. It is my hope that even if you lose your joy, you always remain hopeful, despite how hard life can be at times.
With love, and joy, for you all.
Shauna
Shauna's Sisters 