We must love ourselves!

I am going to be raw and honest with you this morning my friends! Hang on tight! Over the past few days, I have not been able to get over feeling like I have been going through some major stretching in my life. I have had to stretch and grow to a place of forgiveness and love. Forgiveness of myself. Love for myself. I wonder, does everyone go through a period of stretching? Do they even know they are? What does that even mean?

I have come to the conclusion that not everybody allows themselves to be stretched, but why don’t they? I believe it is a myriad of reasons. It’s hard to be stretched. It’s scary to deal with the things in your life that you are embarrassed about! Growth is frightening! Some just frankly don’t even know how to grow, and be stretched to a place of loving themselves, and forgiving themselves for things in their past. I however believe that if we don’t allow ourselves to be stretched beyond our comfort zones, we are stuck! If we don’t allow ourselves to be stretched in our thinking and beliefs, there will be no growth in our lives.

I am no means an expert on this subject, or a professional, but here’s the conclusion I have drawn from my personal experience. We cannot judge ourselves, and hate ourselves for things we didn’t know. We cannot judge ourselves for pain from our past hurts and trauma that we didn’t ask for, nor did we know how to deal with.

I’m going to be brutally honest with you today. The last two years, I have not loved myself. Honestly, I have downright been disgusted with myself. I don’t like the person I was. I don’t like the way I handled certain situations. I am embarrassed and angry with myself. Who was this person I had become? I am realizing that this is the deep rooted issue of why I packed on 30 pounds in only a few months time. I didn’t love myself enough to care that I was feeding my body, my one body, with junk and chemicals. I didn’t love myself enough to realize that the way I handled certain situations were because of hurt and pain that remained in my heart and I had not dealt with them. I didn’t love myself enough to show myself some grace and realize that I dealt with things the best way I could at that moment. Things that triggered me or made me react for whatever reason.

It’s only through some deep, deep soul searching and asking God to heal me that I have been able to finally get to a place of forgiveness of myself. It’s only through some really hard work and growth that I am finally arriving to a place of loving myself. Notice I said arriving…I am not yet there! It is a work in progress. I am arriving to a place of not needing other people’s acceptance to accept myself. I am realizing that God made me who he wanted me to be and I don’t need other people’s love, or acceptance to be okay.

When I look back over my years as a step-mom, there are so many things I did wrong. So many situations I handled wrong. So many things I did and said wrong, but you know what? They didn’t come from a place of malice, they came from a place of not truly knowing how to handle the situation and the feelings those situations brought up. I cannot change the past. Would I now handle them differently? A resounding yes, but I truly must simply show myself some grace for the lack of education in dealing with a blended family. I must show myself some grace from not seeing everybody else in this situation as human beings, and knowing they too were handling things the best they could. I must simply grow and be better. That is it. That’s all I can do now.

I must show myself some grace in all of the events that have happened in my life over the past two years, and realize they had to happen to get me to where I am today. I am an emotional eater so that’s how I dealt with the pain, but the power to heal and change that lies deep within me. I don’t have to continue on a path of being unhealthy. I don’t have to continue down a path of beating myself up over my reactions. People can continue to judge me for those reactions, it’s okay, and I can show them grace too.

Am I talking to anybody today? We MUST forgive and love ourselves just like we do other people who have hurt us if we truly want to stretch, and grow, and be the people God created us to be. We are on this earth for a reason! All of us! Our past is not a roadmap to our future! Let me tell you a secret! Everybody makes mistakes! Nobody is perfect! What!? Yep, nobody!! So stop trying to be! Maybe if we see the benefits that come with growth, and allow ourselves to enjoy the journey a little more, we could relax a bit and allow it! Stretching sucks, I will not lie, but wow will we arrive at such amazing place! When we get to a place of forgiveness and love for ourselves, we will be freed to live a life of significance and of adding value to others every single day!

I will leave you with one question. Will you dig deep and forgive yourself and love yourself so you can be the best version of you possible? I hope you do! It is the most freeing feeling in the world!

With love for you all,

Shauna