Who is in your inner circle?

There is a subject that I have been struggling with, no, not struggling, wrestling with for almost a year now. I have discussed it several times with my mom and she’s always good to give me her opinion on the matter from an “outsider view” who is very much obviously in my inner circle. I heard this saying from Jim Rohn a year ago and it says “You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” I’ve also heard “Show me your friends and I will show you your future.” Not sure who said that. Tony Robbins says “Your friends influence your life more than you think.” Are you getting the picture here? This topic has been burning in my soul for awhile now. In Jen Hatfield’s new book Fierce Free and Full of Fire, she says it like this “In general, am I becoming kinder, wiser, stronger, and more joyful around this person or group? Or meaner, critical, fragile, and unhappy? Do I like myself more or less in this space? Does she call forth my best or bring out my worst?” I don’t think I can even add anything to that. Just wow! I bet that got your brain thinking!

About a year and a half ago, I started out on this journey to really work on myself, discover who I am, what I want, where am I going. Nobody ever told me about growth and about personal reflection and about trying to be a better person. Obviously I was raised in a family that believed in God, the Bible and right and wrong, but I literally just woke up one morning and felt this desire in the pit of my stomach to be different, to be better, to learn new things, to find out what God had desired for me to do. I have set through seminars, read books, prayed more than I have ever prayed in my life, listened to podcasts, talked to people, really started learning more about what the Bible says and trying to find my calling. In fact, this blog was born out of this entire experience. I remember sitting on the swing at my friend Allyson’s house and telling her I couldn’t put it into words but something was stirring in my stomach for more or different. I couldn’t even describe it to her. She looked at me and said she wasn’t anywhere in that space, she was content in her life at this point. She was happy and fulfilled. I could see on her face she was being honest. It’s not that I was searching for more or not content, but something was calling me. It was hard at times and situations popped up that made me question my journey and could I do this. My friend Joey showed up at my house more Saturday mornings than I can remember and just said I love you, you’ve got this and don’t stop.

You’re probably thinking at this point that I got off on a tangent, but let me bring this all back around. What does that journey have to do with my circle you may ask. Well, actually a whole lot! I started to realize two things. First, it’s going to be really important at this point the people I surround myself with, and second, it’s going to be really important the kind of person I am in that circle as well. If I am really honest and want growth in my life and I am surrounding myself with people who gossip, are complacent with life, aren’t kind, don’t give back, don’t support my journey, are selfish or self-centered and life is just drama, what good will that bring out in me? In turn, if I am the friend who gossips, brings drama, doesn’t love, give back or bring anything positive to the table, what does that say about me? Listen, we’ve all been that friend we hate at some point in our lives! We all have seasons of life. We all have times when we go through hard things and we’re not being our best selves, everybody does, but do you or do they live there at all times? One tough thing that’s come out of this growth path I have been on, is I have had to deal with some ugly things about myself and it hasn’t always been fun, but I knew to be the kind of person I would want to be around, I had to do the work! I had to make some changes myself. The people we surround ourselves with and we let have opinions and judgments in our lives can literally shape the people we are or are becoming. The advice they give can literally make or break us! Let that sink in!

Let me put it a different way. Your circle isn’t just your friends. Who do you hang out with at work? Are they the complainers, gossipers, always down and never productive? Or are they the go getters who take a vested interested in the company and it’s growth regardless if they have ownership? I think it’s pretty clear here whether you will succeed or fail at work based on who you partner with and your actions and words. Again, we have all been on both sides of this coin here! I just want us to wake up and see that how we are and the people we surround ourselves with, have a great impact on our futures! If you find yourself here in this very spot right now on your job and you’re this person, then decide today to change and go find different people to hang around with. Maybe the drama starts at the top, but you can still decide not to partake and be different. You reap what you sow so if you’re sowing hard work and good attitudes, I promise some day, you will be rewarded for that, and while the others are still stuck back there gossiping and complaining, you’re rising through the ranks of success! Will this be easy to remove yourself from this type of person? No, but worth it and you will see an instant change!

I urge you, if you got nothing else out of this today, just do me one favor. Take a long hard look at the people you most surround yourself with. Take a long hard look at the people you’re following on social media and trying to be like. Take a long hard look at the people you are following and mentoring and trying to emulate. You know what? It’s okay if you wake up and realize you need to make some changes. Just be honest, not mean, just honest about where you’re at and what you want. We have one life to live and we don’t get do overs. If you are being called to do something that lights your soul on fire, it’s going to be worth it in the end to look at your circle because that will tell you where you’re going or not going. As I looked at my circle, I do have some amazing people God has placed in my life. My ride or die. My thick or thin. My tell it to me straight how it is. They will have my back to the end. They want me to go somewhere great. I want us all to go somewhere great! And, to my circle, I am striving to be better, and make you better by being in your life!

With love for you all,

Shauna