I refuse to be a victim!

What does the word victim mean to you? Webster describes a victim as one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions (2): one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment, a frequent victim of political attacks b: one that is tricked or duped. That’s some real stuff right there! That’s some sad stuff! A true victim to something makes me very sad and makes me feel sorry for people, but notice I said REAL victim! There’s real victims and there are people who make themselves the victim! Big difference in the two! BIG!

Have you ever felt like the victim in a situation? I have and I have made myself the victim a few times in my life! A victim from a bad relationship, a victim because I was physically abused, a victim because I couldn’t have biological children, a victim because circumstances changed in my job and I had to work outside of the house…victim from a divorce, victim because I have some debt. I mean are you getting the picture here!? A few of those situations, I was a true victim. I never chose to have a man burn my arm and hold me by my throat up against a wall and threaten to throw me down a flight of stairs. I never chose to have endometriosis to the point of never baring children. Yes, I was a “victim” in those situations, but did I really have to choose to be the victim!? The answer is no. Yes, I was a victim, but did that need define me? No! No! No!

I find myself so tired lately of the victim mentality! Do you know the kind of speak of? People who make decisions, hurt people, make bad decisions that effect several people, but try to make themselves out to be the victim in the situation and then there you are,  left trying to make sense of it all, emotional, tired, literally drained and just wishing they would stop! That is the kind of victim I refuse to be! Have I ever made mistakes? Yes! Have I ever hurt people? Yes! I didn’t always mean to, but I did, and I have always tried to take responsibility for my actions instead of trying to destroy people that do not deserve to be destroyed! I try to see my role in the situation and change myself. Not sit around trying to point the finger and act innocent like most people do!

Do you know that you can literally effect your children, at times almost destroy them, by putting things on them about the other parent that is unfair? Do you know that you can literally destroy your relationship with them by not taking responsibility for your actions, saying you’re sorry and trying to be different? Do you even care, or is it always about you? You might want to stop for a minute and let that one sink in! Take a deep hard look inside and see if you’re guilty of this. Your kids don’t deserve this! They don’t deserve to be burdened with you trying to justify things you did to make yourself feel better!

Do you try to destroy your ex just to prove you’re right or that you’re not a bad person? Who cares! See your role in the situation, try to be better and move on! Nobody is going to care in a few years anyway!

Do you try to blame everybody else for your debt? But did somebody hold a gun to your head and make you spend? That one might have just made you mad! It’s true though! Until you see your role in the debt, you’re not getting out!

Do you blame everybody else for every single bad thing in your life? Many people do because it’s easier than taking a long hard look internally and dealing with our shortcomings!

Let me ask you this though, does blaming everybody else for everything bad in your life do anything to make you better, to heal you and take you further in life? I’m going to guess the answer is no because it’s been no in my life!

You know what I am choosing from here on out!?!? I am NOT a victim to anything that has happened in my life! I am a warrior and I choose to fight my way out and make life everything it can be, and be the fighter that I know I am. Who is with me!? Why let anybody but YOU dictate what your life is! You and only you are in control of your life so shake off the urge to be the victim and go be different! Go make life what you want it! I’m not at all saying you’re not fairly the victim, but you don’t have to let that define you the rest of your life!

Go fight!!!

With love for you all!

Shauna