Go Rest High

The last few days, I have experienced something that has affected me so very deeply. I have had things in my life multiple times that have knocked me to my knees with what life has handed me, but this time it’s different. This time feels like a shaking saying Shauna WAKE UP! WAKE UP to your life! Stop fretting over people who don’t matter! Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Stop feeling like life has dumped on you, and somehow not been what you thought! Stop looking at other people and wondering why they have it so easy and they’re not even decent human beings, and do nothing to help others. Just STOP!!

I have experienced death before. Loss of grandparents, loss of an uncle, but no death has hurt me to my core like watching a beautiful 30 year old girl who came into my life when she was around 10 pass. I watched her over the past 5 years in her struggle with cancer. I watched her with grace as she struggled to find out she would never be a mother, as I offered to help in any way I could because I understood that pain. I know she had her bad days, and I heard about them from her mother, but I never experienced them. Anytime I saw her, she would have a smile on her face and say she was doing fine.

So I sit around stressed and tired, wondering why I couldn’t have a baby, wondering why life has kicked me down, but I have an amazing husband who is crazy about me. Something she longed for. I have  been given step-children, something she most likely would have been thrilled with. I have cousins and friends who have kids that I have been blessed to be close to. What is so wrong with my life? Nothing! Nothing is wrong with my life! I have life breathing through my body and she does not. I was able to sit and hold her hand the night before she passed and I just prayed God would give her peace and finally she would be free from pain. Pain! That’s a whole different subject. Yes, I have endured pain in my life, but again never the kind of physical and emotional pain she had to endure!

So today, in Kassi’s honor, I believe she would tell us this. Get off your phones! Stop living your life for people on social media that you don’t even know, and who don’t even matter. Stop basing how many friends you have based on your number of followers and the people who like your posts. Those people aren’t really your friends! Spend more time at the dinner table with your family. Spend more time in the yard with your kids, or laying on their beds asking how their day was and what’s going on in their lives. You will never get that time back! Stop worrying if your house is clean, or your laundry is done, visit a friend, visit a family member, even if you have to drive to see them.  Book the airline ticket and spend a few days with those who live away that you don’t often see. We are not promised tomorrow, and as I said this week in a post, will you do it now or will you wait until your deathbed and wish you had?

Kassi, go rest high! Your work here on earth isn’t done if we take up where you left off and live a life of intent! Don’t let this just be words on a page, let them resonate with you and cause you to re-think how you’re living your life. Not just today, but every day! Think about the things that truly matter and all your blessings!

With love for you all,

Shauna