Whose Opinion Really Matters?

Were you raised in any kind of church? If so, you know that each denomination has its own set of “rules” as people like to call them. I’m not going to start listing any, I am not educated in all religions. I don’t know all the things that set them all apart so I won’t even go there. What I do know is that in most of them are people who like to judge others. So many of them miss the mark all together on what they are really called to do. So many of them look the part, show up for church 2+ times a week and think they are the very definition of what their church professes and declares that they should live. Yet they show no mercy to others.

Why is it in life that the very place you should be able to run for safety and security is the one place that causes you the most anxiety. The reason why is because we let other people stop us. God is still there, your help is still there, but we let people who don’t matter stop us and judge us. We let people whose opinion of us doesn’t matter, nor does their opinion set us on our path of purpose and destiny, stop us from achieving great things. We let them make us ashamed. We let them hurt us and cause us pain.

You can imagine the judgment I received when I not only went through one divorce but two. Yes TWO! Pick your chin up, I have never professed to be perfect, but I have always been honest. Did I choose this path my life has taken, maybe somewhat with my choices, but not all together. I didn’t choose some of the treatment I received, and those who did it know what they did, but I also didn’t go around shouting it from the rooftops so people would take my side. No, I set by and let people judge, and say things about me that were not only untrue, but they really had no knowledge of the truth. I remember my mom saying to me one time, just hold your head up, shut your mouth and live your life. The people who truly matter in your life know the real you and know the truth. Nobody else matters. I will never forget the day I was in a local restaurant and a couple came in who literally had known me since birth. The husband spoke, the wife, I literally had to move my chair to let her by, and she acted as if I was a total stranger. It’s happened more than once over the years. In fact, it’s happened quite often. It used to crush me when this would happen. It took years to get over. It took me years to get over seeing people at school, at the grocery, at restaurants who would snicker and act like they didn’t know me because they were judging me for what they thought they knew about me.

I almost let these same people influence me and talk me out of what I felt was a God-given desire in the pit of my stomach to start writing this blog. I knew people would read it and judge me. I knew people would says she’s not all that, who does she think she is. I literally almost let the criticism stop me and almost paralyze me. You know what though? That’s what the devil wants. That’s what these people want, and I have made up my mind to not let them win. I heard recently that small people want to keep you small. Average people want to keep you average. Some people can’t stand the thought of your success!

Maybe this is where you find yourself. But you know, these people who set out to judge others and try to stop your destiny, they don’t deserve a reaction. They don’t control your destiny. They cannot stop your purpose. They cannot stop you from doing good and helping others. Trust me when I tell you that many of these people want to judge you to take the focus off of themselves. They don’t want their skeletons coming out of their closet. EVER!! Don’t let these people stop you! I’m not going to lie, some days I can do this better than others. Some days I see these people in the grocery store and the treatment stings, but some times I actually pity them for the shallow life they’re living. It truly must be exhausting keeping up a facade. We have to somehow get to a place where we just keep going despite the noise and despite the judgment, and know that no matter what our past has in it, it’s behind you! You can be different! You can make a difference! You can still go on and do amazing things! Something my mom always preached to us, and I have mentioned in other blogs, just don’t get bitter. Don’t let life change your heart! Keep believing in people and in humanity. Focus on the good people that are out there. I promise, you will find them! John Maxwell says that you are always going to have people judging you. Always! We just have to get to a place where we can simply live OUR lives, keep doing what is right and what God has called us to do! Whatever that looks like for you. Don’t spend your life trying to defend yourself! Spend your life making a difference and investing in somebody else and in return, you’re investing in you, you’re living your destiny and your purpose!

With love for you all,
Shauna