Do you want to be better or bitter?

Do you ever just get tired, physically worn out from dealing with other people’s drama and negativity, problems and self-pity? I mean I am all about being a good friend, a good sister, good daughter, co-worker, whatever the situation may be and being there for people, but come on, doesn’t it just wear you out sometimes? We all have issues. We all have things about our childhood we didn’t like. We have all been mistreated. We’ve all been lied about and used and abused and talked about. We’ve all been knocked down. We’ve all been hurt. I know, I have been all of those things through my life, but being around people who cannot take responsibility for their actions, who want to constantly blame others and talk about their troubles, rather than taking responsibility, and never making necessary changes to be better, just wears me out. Am I alone here??

Do I believe we should blame ourselves for all the bad things that have happened in our life? Absolutely not! But what good does it do to sit around and blame everybody else for the bad that’s happened. I can hate the people who I feel have mistreated me all day long but it’s not hurting them, it’s only hurting me. I realized a long time ago that by holding on to those grudges, I was letting them win. Why do they deserve to have that kind of control over me?

I am not perfect by any means, and trust me, I know my shortcomings. I know what I have done to contribute to the end of relationships in my life. I know all about my insecurities and I daily try to work on them. I’m not going to sit around and say poor me, look what they did to me, if I had a hand in what happened. I don’t need anybody pointing out those things sister, I know all to well what part I played, yet people refuse to see their part in anything, and instead choose to sit around and just blame others, and act like they’ve done nothing.

Trust me when I say, if you constantly sit around and complain and feel sorry for yourself and seek pity, people are going to run very quickly away from you! Life is short and people don’t want to be brought down anymore than they already are! If every time you’re with your friends you want to talk about what everybody has done to you and what is wrong with your life, my guess is your friends will stop calling.

Here’s my question though, and it’s a hard question. What are you doing to change things in your life?  Are you sitting around just constantly feeling sorry for yourself and lashing out at people, or are you taking a minute to reflect and take the measures needed for life to be better? Look in the mirror right now. That person looking back at you is literally the only person that can make changes for life to be better. You and only you have that power. I’m in no way saying it will be easy. Calling yourself out and taking responsibility is hard. It’s hard to call out what you’ve done wrong, but it’s going to take that to go from bitter to better. It’s going to be work, hard work, but how bad do you want a better life? If you’re not working hard, and you’re just sitting back hoping everything will just fall in your life because you wish it, you’re going to be sorely disappointed. We only get out of life what we give. If you’re in debt, is it the credit card companies fault? If you’re losing your house, is it the banks fault you didn’t make your payments? If you’re failing at work, is it your bosses fault? I hate to tell you, but most likely it’s not their fault, it’s yours! Blaming people is never going to change that. Stop blaming others for what is wrong in your life and turn things around! YOU have the power! And, if what is wrong in your life is other people, remove them!

For those dealing with people like this right now, and I am raising my hand  because I am, we must learn to set some boundaries so these people do not affect us. It really is okay to block people who constantly send you hateful texts. It really is okay to stop taking calls, stop taking abuse, stop listening to the negativity that others want to dish out. It’s okay to suggest that our friends get help, professional help, if needed to deal with their issues. It’s not okay to put up with the abuse these people can dish out. It does not make you a bad person to remove these people from your life and say enough is enough. I don’t care if it’s a friend, a parent, a relative, whomever it is, you can remove this toxic behavior from your life. Trust me when I say, if these people don’t help themselves, they won’t change, they will forever find fault and point fingers and blame, and never take responsibility for their actions. You will not win with these people and you should not subject yourself to it. You will simply exhaust yourself and be brought down in the process.

I will leave you with this quote:

“You either get bitter or you get better. It’s that simple. You either take what has been dealt to you and allow it to make you a better person, or you allow it to tear you down. The choice does not belong to fate. It belongs to you.” Josh Shipp

Decide right now to be better! I want people to be better, to be whole to be happy and not live a life of sadness, guilt, anger or bitterness. Decide right now to take the steps for the upcoming year to be a year of healing, no matter how hard!

With love for you all!

Shauna