Author: shaunassisters

I am currently sitting in my second airport of the day, one more to go. Due to flight changes, I am sitting longer than originally planned, but I am thankful to get out and get to my family so I won’t complain. Instead, I will grab some food and a drink and watch people and write stories about their lives in my head.

I saw a couple get really upset on my first flight because the overhead storage bins were full, even though the flight attendant warned that the flight was full, and told people they may consider checking their bags. A lady trying to read so she cracked the window only to have the girl a seat ahead slam it shut like it was all about her. I saw a gentleman help an elderly lady who couldn’t lift her bags up. In the airport, I watched a young in love couple having the best breakfast and talking, and a couple cuddling their baby. I saw a ton of military, people who looked like they were in their pj’s, who probably had not been out of bed long, and women in heels whom clearly couldn’t walk in them.

Are you anything like me where you sit and make up stories about people? That’s the most fun part. I saw a chauffeur dressed so neat. I saw an insecure lady trying to walk in heels and she couldn’t, all the while she was watching all the other women. I saw people that I questioned, purely judging by their looks, how they afforded the expensive bags they were carrying. I saw a Jewish Rabbi and a man who I thought looked like a preacher. Are any of these scenarios true? Possibly, but I made them up purely by observing.

I love what you see in airports, but what I used to love the most were the smiles I would receive at the airport. Today I can’t see any because of masks. There’s hustle and bustle like pre Covid and people in a hurry to get somewhere. I wonder where are they going? Some look like vacation, some traveling for business, some could be traveling to family events they wish they weren’t, some for weddings and births of babies.

I have no idea anybody’s story, or where they are going, but here’s what I can say though. We are all the same! No matter where we’re from, or where we’re going, we’re all the same. I saw insecure people watching other people. I saw secure people who you could tell in their eyes were smiling and were excited about where they were going. Some looked tired and some even sick. Here’s the thing though, at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to get somewhere! At the end of the day, we all have the same insecurities and fears. So no matter what I saw today, or what I made up, humans are the same everywhere. As you journey on this thing called life, slow down, enjoy the journey, show kindness and smile at strangers! Because guess what? We’re all alike, no matter our story! We all need each other no matter our differences. And everybody really is just trying to get somewhere in life.

With love for you all,

Shauna

On this New Years Eve 2021, I sit at my desk just as daylight is starting to break through allowing myself to do some reflection. It’s been a hard year. Normally this day excites me, but today my heart is heavy, and the future seems unclear. I read my last devotional in my Joy book and put it on the shelf, I write for the last time of this year in my gratitude journal, and I ponder what will 2022 look like. I ponder what I did in 2021 to make the world around me better.

2021 has been hard. I lost my grandfather, my dad and my father-in-law. My eyes were opened to some people who I thought were my friends. I questioned my path and where I found myself. I questioned my future. I questioned was I doing anything that God put me on this earth to do. Yet 2021 was good as well. I grew more than I could have dreamed possible. I got the most beautiful grand daughter. I started my sessions and had the opportunity to have some quality interviews and meet some amazing people through those. Hopefully I impacted a life as well. I met some amazing people, coaches and friends along my journey that are changing my life, and pouring into my life. I learned so much about myself and had some intense self reflections about who I am, who I want to be, and more importantly who I don’t want to be. You see, I get to write my story. What shall it say? That makes a hard year somewhat better, but we must realize time isn’t always on our side. We waste so much time.

2021 taught me that life is so short and in a moments notice our entire life can change. We may not get the chance to make a wrong right. We may not get the chance to say sorry. We may not get the chance to speak kindly to someone we’ve spoken angrily to. We may not get the chance to say good-bye. We may not get the chance to pour into a life we were supposed to. I watched someone pass who lived a life of bitterness and regret. I watched someone pass who spent too much time on people who didn’t really care about them. Someone recently told me that we’re always going to have haters who are simply in our lives to sabotage, or use us, but we still must go on, and do good despite their efforts. You see I am learning that life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we react. So what are you reacting to that is taking too much energy? What are you focusing on that is causing you to lose focus on what really matters? I am asking myself those questions today as well.

The only thing I am sure of today is that I want to make some consistent changes in 2022. I want to do more and talk less. I want to impact more lives and live a life of total significance. I want to go to bed each day knowing I added value to somebody and that I devalued no one. I had a friend/coach tell me recently that I had a work to do and I needed to keep my focus on that, not on the things going on around me trying to steal my focus. So my prayer for 2022 is that I can remain focused on the journey laid out before me, and less on the distractions that will try to stop me. My prayer for 2022 is that I somehow influence some changed lives and make a real difference. My prayer is that my heart remain open and my mind clear on my purpose! What shall you do with the blank slate laid out before you? Only you get to answer that, and only you get to make some real significant changes if you need to. Don’t wait, tomorrow is not promised. We don’t always get a second chance so let me ask you in closing, what will you do with the life you’ve been given? Use it for good, or spend it tearing people down, gossiping, partying, just living for today and not for real change? I can’t answer that for you, but I know what my answer is today. Happy New Year to you all!

With love for you all,

Shauna

This is a blog I never wanted to write. I know some people have dealt with a great deal of death, but fortunately, I have not had a great deal of it in my life. I don’t take that lightly at all! I see the blessing in that statement! I wish I wasn’t writing on this subject, but here I am writing about it. Six month ago I lost my papaw. Tuesday I lost my father suddenly, and Friday, I lost an ally. I lost my father in law. While I thought 2020 was bad, 2021 must go out with a bang, and prove to be even harder.

I sit here tonight, yet another night of not being able to sleep. I am thinking about these three men who were taken. Two within a few days of one another. I am tired, and I know the days ahead may get worse before they get better. I am going to be grateful and attempt to see some positive in this season. I will pick up the pieces of what they all three instilled in me and be better!

They always say death comes in threes. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that three men were taken out of my life in such a short period of time. One I had a hard relationship with, yet he still taught me so much! As I sit here thinking about what I learned from them all, I must see the blessings in having them all in my life. If I choose to focus on any bad there may have been, it will only bring bitterness that I refuse to take on.

My Papaw was a hard man, but lived his convictions. I had the blessing of traveling with him a great deal. Being the eldest grand child, I had a different relationship with him. The biggest trait I inherited from my papaw is the importance of preparation before you address people, and research. We both shared the love of schedules as well, and the burden of leading people. He left me his Franklin Covey day timer. I loved my papaw, he was the only one I knew. My papaw had a deep desire to help people and that was honorable.

I had a challenging relationship with my father. I wish things had been different, but I realize I couldn’t control that. I learned the value of hard work from my father! I inherited his outgoing personality and his incredible ability to connect with people. Because of him, I met some pretty amazing people and had some amazing experiences. From watching him I had a strong desire to heal and grow and rise above my past. I wish he could have done that for himself. No matter how difficult things were, I still loved my dad and tried up until the day before he died to be there for him. My dad had years of pain that he was never able to heal and I find that so incredibly sad! Without taking on your pain dad, I will go be better and leave the world a better place in your honor.

My father in law, well, you see, Keith and I were the “steps” in the family. He was my husband’s step-dad. Keith and I had a kindred spirit. He was always willing to listen, understand, see my tears flow, and then say a wise-crack to make me laugh. Keith was caring, giving, funny, but above all things he cared about us all. Keith and I shared in the fact that we never had biological children of our own and understood each other. He taught me about gardening, and this year we had big plans. He was going to help me grow my tomato seeds. He would sometimes come out to the garden knowing I was hot and tired and help me pick beans. Oh geez he would say! That’s our favorite Keith saying. We would talk health and exercise and he’d tell me about a show I needed to watch about what was in our food. I would tell him that was gross and I couldn’t, and he would tell me I needed to. I hope you know that I loved you and thought you were the best father-in-law anyone could have. It is my hope the kids brought you joy, and that you knew they were all four your grandkids!

With love for you all,

Shauna

I have been thinking so much lately about the different seasons of life. I love the seasons in the weather, but sometimes I don’t like the different seasons of life. Right now in Indiana, it’s beautiful. The trees are the most beautiful colors of reds, yellows and oranges. Fall is harvest time. Fall is a season that goes out beautifully, but what comes next people don’t like. Winter is dark, gray, and cold. What is happening beneath the surface though is something beautiful. Things are taking root. Things are strengthening their roots and seeds of something beautiful are growing. We just can’t see it. YET! We will see it, it will just take a few weeks and months to see! It is happening below the surface though. Of that we can be assured.

Looking back over my life, I never enjoyed the journey. I can remember as a kid just wanting to get to 16 to drive. To just get to graduation. To just get to college, which never happened. To just get married. To just have a baby, which also didn’t happen. Always trying to fast forward to that next big thing I thought would bring happiness. Always trying to fast forward through the hard times. Can you relate? We mistakenly think if I just get the guy or the girl. If I just get the promotion at work. If I just get the house or the car. If I just have a certain amount of money in the bank I will be happy and fulfilled. However, we miss so much in the journey. The middle can be messy and we don’t like that. God has been dealing with me lately about my journey! I can’t shake it, I can’t get away from it. Our happiness and growth don’t come from things that we think will bring happiness!

I am realizing that my life is on fast forward and I am missing so much. I am not allowing myself to feel. I am not allowing myself to grow. I have not allowed myself to heal and really figure out who I am, and what I want. We are a generation of right now, and that’s not a positive thing about us. We must stop and allow ourselves to feel the emotions of the season, even if people judge us for that.

I must share something that happened to me on Friday. I start every day with a gratitude practice. I have a notebook that I write in. I like things in order so I go in sequential order each day. Friday was busy for me and I must have been hurrying as I set down at my desk. I began to write, got about halfway down the page, and wanted to see something from Thursday so I turned back a page. It was blank. Back another page, it was blank. I had somehow flipped ahead probably 6 weeks in my journal. As I set staring at those blank pages, something just came alive inside of me and said this is what you do. You miss so many beautiful unwritten things in life by trying to hurry through the seasons and days of life. I set there speechless because this is exactly what I do. How many amazing things in life have I missed?

You see, I have had four life changing seasons in my adult life. I did not like one second of them. They were hard. They were painful, but on this side of it, beautiful things have happened in my life. Funny how we can see that looking back, but we cannot see that while we’re in it. I found forgiveness and healing, growth, education, who was really there for me, who really loved me. All from those hard, hard times. Those things don’t always come when we’re living life on the mountain top, or trying to. We don’t get clarity when life is always “good”.

Great things do not come without reward! At 47, I finally get that. My word for 2022 is journey. I can’t get away from it. If I don’t slow down and enjoy every day of the journey, I am going to miss the opportunity to add value to people. I am going to miss the opportunity to be all God called me to be. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and wish I would have done more! I want to get to the end of my life, rest my head on my pillow that last time and know I did everything I could. I want people to walk by my casket and say because of her, I never gave up. Because of her I became all I could be and lived life to the fullest. I want people to say she fought a good fight and took everything thrown at her with grace and let it make her better.

So let me ask you, are you like me and fighting the journey? I hope you really think about that!

With love for you all,

Shauna

I have come to a realization about myself lately. Maybe some of you will relate to me today. I have come to realize that I value my peace above all else these days! Some people are so quick to say they value peace and can’t stand drama, yet at every turn they’re right in the middle of it.  It’s comical to me to hear people say that, who obviously enjoy being in the middle of that arena! I am finding myself on quite the opposite side of this! Now, before you think I’m trying to be perfect, I used to say I didn’t like drama too, but quite often found myself right in the middle of it so clearly I did like it, or simply allowed it because of my insecurities!

I no longer have a desire to prove people wrong. I no longer have a desire to defend myself. I no longer have a desire to prove I have a voice, or that I belong. I no longer have a desire to engage when people clearly don’t want my help, advice or to give me a chance. 

You might wonder how I am handling this. I simply walk away. It’s not worth it to me anymore. The old me would have fought for that spot at the table, but it’s not worth it in all arenas. Proving that I am talented, capable, able, and willing to jump into all things no longer matters. I am secure in what I offer and no longer have the strength to have to fight to prove my worth. Right or wrong, I choose to simply walk away, and let people do their thing! 

You see, it’s not a competition! Everyone has their unique gifts and talents and it’s when we try to use them together that we find harmony. It’s when one feels threatened by others, that there is discord which thwarts what could have been an amazing job well done, with much success and value added to others. It’s truly sad the amazing things that could be but don’t happen because people get in the way and let pride take over. I’m coming to the realization that competition has simply been a distraction to what I should have been doing all along. A distraction to living a life of significance and impacting lives every day.

It’s taken me years of growth and working on myself to arrive at this point, and I realize that not all people are there. I realize that some people will never be there because they have not done the work to know themselves and grow themselves. It’s like John Maxwell says in the Law of Awareness. You must know yourself to grow yourself.  I know myself quite well! The good, bad and the ugly!

Here’s what I know. My insecurities used to lead me to be a person who felt like I was constantly having to prove myself, to show my worth to people, and that I belonged. That is no longer a burning desire inside me. I realize that it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks anymore. What truly matters is my relationship with God, my family and my close friends. What truly matters is getting out of bed every day and striving to add value to others and to live a life of significance. To impact lives for the better. At the end of the day, when I take my last breath I don’t want my tombstone to say she convinced everybody of her worth. I want my tombstone to say that because of her many didn’t give up.

You see, if we live a life in constant competition with other people, we miss the vision of what we should really be doing here on earth. We miss opportunities to impact lives. We miss opportunities to add value to others. We miss opportunities of pouring into the lives of others and truly making a difference. Yes, I agree a little healthy competition never hurt anybody, but we need to be careful of our mindset around in that competition. I am in competition with one person. I am in competition with myself, and making sure that every single day I am learning, growing, educating myself to be a better version of me than I was yesterday! That is who I am in competition with. I have come to a point in my life where I realize that others have gifts that I will never have. Others are better at certain things than I am, it’s how they were made, and dulling their shine does not make my light shine brighter.

Do you know what happens when people champion other people? Lives are changed! You will be championed in return if you do things for the right reasons! Do you know what happens when there are a great deal of cheerleaders and champions in the world? So much good is done and the world is completely changed! Cheerleading began to lift spirits and show support for a team. Who can you champion and be a cheerleader of today? This is a powerful concept!

I want to change my world! I want to be a lifter and champion of others, not compete against them! Together, with our unique talents and gifts, so much good can be done! So many lives changed! How about you? Will you join me, or keep a competitive spirit that doesn’t add much value to anyone but yourself? It really is the difference in living a life of success vs. significance. Only you get to decide your choice.

With love for you all,

Shauna

As a little girl, I would complain that something wasn’t fair. My mom would say but life isn’t fair, it’s something you must accept. There are bad things that happen to good people. There are things that happen that we simply cannot, and will not ever understand. I wish good things always happened for good people, and that evil people were sometimes repaid with evil, but unfortunately, that is not how it works.

In the last two weeks I have watched someone I know lose both of her twins in a senseless car wreck with a drunk driver. A good friend of my fathers was killed in a car wreck while visiting his daughter. I have a cousin who lays in the hospital fighting for her life with Covid. The people of Afghanistan are in a horrible situation that I can’t even fathom. My father in law daily fights for his life, and the bad news just keeps coming.

No, life is for sure not fair. Some are blessed, and some no matter how hard they work will barely have anything. Some will never know illness, and some never escape it. Some will have children that they never take care of while others no matter their best efforts, we’re never able to have any. Some will be abused, some abandoned, some hungry and homeless.

I truly have no answers as to why such things happen in life. It makes me sad. I have hurt in my life, and I hurt for others. The only hope I can offer is the word that I once received from a preacher during some of my darkest days. He pointed his finger at me and said there is a purpose to your pain. That day, I didn’t understand that, nor did I want to hear it, but years later, it has brought me some comfort. We might ask why there is such a pain, and although I will truly never understand, I know that in days of pain God has brought me peace that cannot be explained either.

To those suffering today, keep going! Keep fighting through those tough days! I know those loved ones you have lost would want you to continue on, keep their memories alive, and fight the good fight of faith! The days may be dark, long and hard, but we must dig deep to find the strength deep in our soul to keep living the purpose that we were put here on earth to do. For somebody today needs us and our gifts!

Let’s keep keeping on! I pray that all of those who are suffering will somehow and someway be able to get out of bed, to keep living despite their pain, despite not understanding, wipe their tears and keep walking forward! Hand in hand, together in love, let’s all be the support, and the good in the world that we need to be to all of those around us!

Do I understand the pain? No! Life isn’t fair, but just know that I am praying for you, just as others prayed for me. I love you and I hurt with you! Together we can make it through this thing called life. For those complaining that their life is bad, try to look around to the horrible things happening to others, and put that in perspective. Life is hard, but there is some good in each day we wake up.

I will leave you with one of my favorite scriptures. It says in part, weeping may endure for the night, but joy cometh in the morning!

With love for you all,
Shauna

I read this morning in a devotion that “all” of our existence leaves nothing for which thanks is not the appropriate attitude. That made me wonder about being thankful for all people. Should I even be thankful for those who have hurt me? For those who have caused me pain? For those who have not been true to me? For those who left me? For those who didn’t believe in me? The answer is yes!

It is so easy to be thankful for the good people in our lives, but what about the ones who haven’t been so good? My mom has taught me my entire life that you have two choices in life. You can be better, or you can be bitter. You get to choose. So, if it is my choice, and I choose to be better, does that mean I need to choose to be thankful for everybody, regardless of whether they have brought me happiness or sadness? You decide what is right for your life, but for me, I believe it is imperative for my growth to be thankful for every person who has been in my life, for good, or for bad! 

What does that look like? This is how I will sum it up, you decide how you will, but I’m just crazy enough to believe that if we change the way we see people, just maybe we can heal, grow, and be stronger because of them all! Words hurt, but they don’t define who you are! People not being real is painful, but isn’t a reflection of who we are either! It takes all kinds of people to make up this great big world! You will find true loyal people, but you will also encounter fake people who only want you for what you can do for them, or bring to them in the moment. Each can have a significant and positive impact on us, if we choose to view their time in our lives as a positive, rather than a negative! Each person can bring something good out of their time in our lives.

So today, I thank you all! I see the season you were in my life! I see the reason you were in my life, and for those who have stuck around…well…I love you with my whole heart! You have taught me loyalty, honesty, honor, joy, true love, laughter is the best medicine, and that I am unstoppable!

Thank you to those who:

1. Knocked me down! I realized how to get back up!
2. Talked about me! It helped me evaluate who I was and to make changes to be better! It also taught me your words were a reflection of you, not me!
3. Who didn’t believe in me! It taught me to believe in myself and fight harder!
4. Who gave up on me! It taught me who was really fighting for me, and taught me to fight for myself!
5. Who wanted me to fail! I fought to succeed and use my failures! You made me stronger!
6. Who discounted me! I found my true worth!
7. Who said I couldn’t do it! You gave me a drive to do it!
8. Who called me stupid! I proved to myself you were wrong!
9. Who caused me pain! I turned it around and thrived! I didn’t merely survive!
10. Who called me weak! God has brought me back stronger!
11. Who loved me despite my shortcomings! You gave me wings to soar!
12. Who showed up and never left, even when I was in a dark place! You taught me true love!
13. Who didn’t believe the lies being told! You taught me true friendship!
14. Who always had my back! You taught me honor!
15. Who showed up in good times and bad! You taught me loyalty!
16. Who always told me the truth! You taught me honesty!
17. Who laughed with me, not at me! You taught me the value of laughter and not taking myself too seriously!
18. Who saw the pain and tears in my eyes, but we’re still there and knew joy would come in the morning! You taught me to have hope!
19. Who knew my past mistakes didn’t define me! You taught me to be unstoppable!
20. Who had compassion! You taught me resilience!

Today, I thank every single person who has come into my life. You have heard me say before that all people come into our life for a season, and for a reason! Regardless of how long people have been in my life, they have shown me what I want to be, what I don’t want to be, and pushed me to be better! To be stronger! To live a life of significance and the importance of always adding value! I hope today you choose to be thankful for everyone in your life, no matter what they have brought to your life! Gratitude is always the right attitude for success in life!

With love (and gratitude) for you all,

Shauna

I had an interesting question posed to me by a friend a week ago that I cannot quit thinking about. She looked at me and said you’re always the one trying to encourage others, who encourages the encourager? What a great question! Have you ever wondered who encourages the encourager? Who makes the comedian laugh? Who motivates the motivator? Who teaches the teacher? If we’re lucky, we have those people in our life! I am incredibly blessed in that regard! Go with me though, that’s not exactly where I’m going with this.

I’m a pretty open book. Those closest to me know over the past couple of years I have often been the one needing encouragement even though I try to be that for others. I think that’s why I try to encourage others so much. I try to be what I need, but when I stop to think about that for a minute, I realize not everybody is seeing the real me. Those who are not close to me on that level, never see me falling apart. To the outward world, I probably come across as the encourager. Only a select few actually know what is really going on in my life at any given time, and know that sometimes I am the one needing encouragement the most. That’s what really got me thinking about this question. We too often have no idea what people have going on behind the mask. Some of the ones smiling the most are the ones hurting the most.

What actually causes most encouraging people to be encouraging? Some people are just naturally born with that gift, but I believe for so many, they are being to others what they needed in a time of need. They have turned their pain around to use for good. Life has taught them to be more compassionate people.

In my years of battling infertility, I had nobody in my life who could relate. Yes my friends and family were compassionate, but none of them had really been through it. If you have never dealt with certain things in life, it’s hard to relate to somebody else going through it. Until you have dealt with hard things in life of any kind, it’s hard for you to relate to somebody dealing with those things. I don’t think I have a natural gift, I think I am using my pain for a purpose. I once had a minister tell me that there was purpose to my pain and I have been striving to be better, never bitter, and to use my experiences for good ever since. That has been the only way I could make sense out of some of my struggles.

I guess the only reason I even pose this question today, is because I think it’s important to realize we often do not know what is going on with somebody that they’re not allowing us to see. Just in the past two days I have had people reach out to me about a situation offering kind words, thoughts and prayers. It has meant the world to me. It’s in these times of compassion that it reignites a passion in my heart to show more compassion, and to double down on being that encourager.

So to bring this full circle, and answer my own question, who encourages the encourager? All of you encourage this encourager! Life is hard! We all have stuff! We need more encouraging and far less gossiping. We need more understanding and far less judgment. We need more giving people grace to handle things as best they can, and less writing them off, and talking about them. We need more positive and far less negative! I will leave you today with this question. What will you be to others that you have needed at some point in your life? Before you get tempted to judge someone else, stop and think about times in your life when you wished people had more compassion for you.

With love for you all,

Shauna

I am going to be raw and honest with you this morning my friends! Hang on tight! Over the past few days, I have not been able to get over feeling like I have been going through some major stretching in my life. I have had to stretch and grow to a place of forgiveness and love. Forgiveness of myself. Love for myself. I wonder, does everyone go through a period of stretching? Do they even know they are? What does that even mean?

I have come to the conclusion that not everybody allows themselves to be stretched, but why don’t they? I believe it is a myriad of reasons. It’s hard to be stretched. It’s scary to deal with the things in your life that you are embarrassed about! Growth is frightening! Some just frankly don’t even know how to grow, and be stretched to a place of loving themselves, and forgiving themselves for things in their past. I however believe that if we don’t allow ourselves to be stretched beyond our comfort zones, we are stuck! If we don’t allow ourselves to be stretched in our thinking and beliefs, there will be no growth in our lives.

I am no means an expert on this subject, or a professional, but here’s the conclusion I have drawn from my personal experience. We cannot judge ourselves, and hate ourselves for things we didn’t know. We cannot judge ourselves for pain from our past hurts and trauma that we didn’t ask for, nor did we know how to deal with.

I’m going to be brutally honest with you today. The last two years, I have not loved myself. Honestly, I have downright been disgusted with myself. I don’t like the person I was. I don’t like the way I handled certain situations. I am embarrassed and angry with myself. Who was this person I had become? I am realizing that this is the deep rooted issue of why I packed on 30 pounds in only a few months time. I didn’t love myself enough to care that I was feeding my body, my one body, with junk and chemicals. I didn’t love myself enough to realize that the way I handled certain situations were because of hurt and pain that remained in my heart and I had not dealt with them. I didn’t love myself enough to show myself some grace and realize that I dealt with things the best way I could at that moment. Things that triggered me or made me react for whatever reason.

It’s only through some deep, deep soul searching and asking God to heal me that I have been able to finally get to a place of forgiveness of myself. It’s only through some really hard work and growth that I am finally arriving to a place of loving myself. Notice I said arriving…I am not yet there! It is a work in progress. I am arriving to a place of not needing other people’s acceptance to accept myself. I am realizing that God made me who he wanted me to be and I don’t need other people’s love, or acceptance to be okay.

When I look back over my years as a step-mom, there are so many things I did wrong. So many situations I handled wrong. So many things I did and said wrong, but you know what? They didn’t come from a place of malice, they came from a place of not truly knowing how to handle the situation and the feelings those situations brought up. I cannot change the past. Would I now handle them differently? A resounding yes, but I truly must simply show myself some grace for the lack of education in dealing with a blended family. I must show myself some grace from not seeing everybody else in this situation as human beings, and knowing they too were handling things the best they could. I must simply grow and be better. That is it. That’s all I can do now.

I must show myself some grace in all of the events that have happened in my life over the past two years, and realize they had to happen to get me to where I am today. I am an emotional eater so that’s how I dealt with the pain, but the power to heal and change that lies deep within me. I don’t have to continue on a path of being unhealthy. I don’t have to continue down a path of beating myself up over my reactions. People can continue to judge me for those reactions, it’s okay, and I can show them grace too.

Am I talking to anybody today? We MUST forgive and love ourselves just like we do other people who have hurt us if we truly want to stretch, and grow, and be the people God created us to be. We are on this earth for a reason! All of us! Our past is not a roadmap to our future! Let me tell you a secret! Everybody makes mistakes! Nobody is perfect! What!? Yep, nobody!! So stop trying to be! Maybe if we see the benefits that come with growth, and allow ourselves to enjoy the journey a little more, we could relax a bit and allow it! Stretching sucks, I will not lie, but wow will we arrive at such amazing place! When we get to a place of forgiveness and love for ourselves, we will be freed to live a life of significance and of adding value to others every single day!

I will leave you with one question. Will you dig deep and forgive yourself and love yourself so you can be the best version of you possible? I hope you do! It is the most freeing feeling in the world!

With love for you all,

Shauna

Have you ever been doing something and you questioned whether any results would come. You questioned whether you were growing, or was any real change there? For instance, you start a workout plan, or change your eating habits, and you wonder will you ever look any different. Or maybe like me, you’ve been reading, studying, trying to grow and you wonder has there been any real growth in my life? Sometimes the results are not immediately seen, but trust me, they’re there. Someday you just may have an epiphany like I recently have, where you look back and see just how far you’ve come!

Life has been full of difficult situations the past couple of years. I had to ready my parents home to sell, my childhood home. Those were long dark days. My relationship with my step-daughter deteriorated right before my eyes with no warning. Then came COVID and all that entailed, a change of job I didn’t see coming, and this year my father-in-law’s brain cancer diagnosis. To top that off, we received a phone call last week that is going to forever change our lives and that of people we love.

Ever since 2019, I have had this nagging gut feeling, that I couldn’t even describe to my friends and family, that I was about to have some real life changes, that I was being called for something bigger and I began my journey of growth, and of learning, and on working on myself. Like so many other people, life has thrown some really hard things at me. Some I have handled well, others I have not. Some I have handled with grace, and some I am still to this day embarrassed about the way I handled; however, with each one I learned. I recently heard someone say that I win or I learn, but I never lose. There’s power in those words.

I have often wondered lately, has any of the long hours I have spent reading books and watching webinars and attending endless amounts of classes done anything in me to where I have seen real results. I am sure you have felt that way at some point in your life and wondered is what I am doing making any difference. I have to say though, it dawned on me this morning that as I look back over the past year, I have come a great long way!

I am tired today, mentally and physically tired, but I am proud of the way I have handled a situation lately. The phone call we received last week, if that had come two years ago, or even a year ago, it would have spiraled me into a tailspin, but it didn’t. I grieved about it for 24 hours, I cried about it and in anger got some stuff off of my chest, but got up and went into we’ll deal with this mode. I reached out to a couple of friends and family, unloaded, or maybe I dumped on them, but then it’s not been talked about in great detail again. The old Shauna would not have handled it well at all. The old Shauna would have been selfish in the way she handled it, but I have come to realize lately that things don’t just happen to me, they happen for me. In every thing, there is a reason. In every thing, there is an opportunity for growth.

Why do I say all of that? Well, to answer my own question, yes I have grown in amazing ways. My reading and my learning and working on myself has paid off in great dividends. Is this to say that going forward I will handle every situation or hard thing that is thrown at me perfectly with grace? No! I am human, like you, and we will still have things we don’t handle well, but when you can look back and see how far you’ve come, that brings a joy to your soul that you cannot even explain. We must learn in the times we don’t handle a situation well to simply show ourselves some grace, dust ourselves off, and get back up. Trust me when I tell you, everybody messes up, we are just not always privy to see it! Some people hide it well, but they have stuff just like the rest of us! Don’t be fooled by a person’s actions and appearances that they handle everything perfectly.

Here’s why I write to you today on this subject. Don’t ever give up on your journey just because you don’t see immediate change! Don’t give up on working on yourself! Don’t give up getting up every single day determined to add value to others. Don’t give up on continually working on yourself! The race isn’t for the swiftest but for the one who is consistent. Even if you see absolutely no results right now, I promise you will if you just keep on! Keep getting up, wiping off the stuff life throws your way and keep your blinders focused forward! We’re not permanently stuck anywhere! There’s always a way out! Sometimes we may just have to look harder, look foolish in the process, not care and keep running the race.

Wherever you find yourself today, please don’t throw in the towel! Real results are on the other side of hard!

With love for you all,

Shauna