Change is Hard

I have had a lot of change in my life. I thought I had reached a point in my life where I could handle change without too much disruption. Change in my personal life, change in never being a biological momma, change in first my brother moving away and then my mom, and then my dad’s death, change in jobs. But tonight, I realize that change still affects my heart, and that’s okay, it means I feel!

Two and a half years ago we got some amazing neighbors. They were a military family that became our family. We became close friends, but more importantly family. A young couple first, and then adding two sons. We had keys to each other’s houses, I became an adopted Gigi to their firstborn, even being the pick up at daycare on Thursdays. We were there for 30th birthdays, 50th birthdays, and then two babies for them and our first grand baby. We knew our time might be short, but we enjoyed every second of every minute we had together. Late-night calls, sickness, holidays, whatever was needed. After tonight, I won’t experience a Miss Shauna screaming across my yard by a sweet little boy wanting to see his Shauna, or asking where Mr. Chad is, or wanting juice or a pouch that he knew I always had.

Tonight was our last dinner together, at least in Indiana, as they left our house and headed to new beginnings across the US. Emmie’s friend moved away, our adopted grandkids and more importantly a piece of our hearts. But as they were walking out my front door, I realized that with tears streaming down my face, with sadness, I would rather love like this, have relationships like this, than never experience hard change that came out of love.

If we don’t allow change in our lives, or at least try to get through them, we miss out on great love. I know that I will have other great change in my life where I will have close relationships change for whatever reason, but I still choose to love and love hard, no matter how hard endings are. I choose to let people in, even if as I age that comes with boundaries for protection, but I choose love and I choose to make a difference in lives, no matter how long or short that time is. I hope you choose the same. Change is hard, but that means you felt something and we all need to feel!

With love for you all,

Shauna