Are you messy in the kitchen? I am the absolute messiest person in the kitchen. I’m always wearing it, it’s always all over the stove, all over the countertops, sometimes on the floor, and sometimes on the cabinets. However, what comes from that mess is a beautifully set table, and a delicious meal. I may be messy in the kitchen, but I’m a really good cook, and a baker. You might wonder why I’m starting out today talking about a messy kitchen. I feel like it’s a great analogy to life. What do I mean you might ask? Well, it might look okay in the beginning, but it’s real messy in the middle, things might look totally out of control until the struggle and hard work pay off, but then you can present something you’re proud of. Life is messy in the middle and that’s okay! I live, and have lived my entire life being a perfectionist so messy is very hard for me. Can you relate?
You see, this actually come quite naturally to me. My mom, and my aunts are all perfectionist so it’s quite possibly in my DNA. I grew up in an immaculate house watching my mom be an amazing cook, make the holidays perfect, all the while everything she did, she strove for perfection. It’s also quite possible that it stems from past relationships, the way they made me feel about myself, and the things I had to do to feel loved, and accepted. Being told I couldn’t do something, or that I didn’t look good enough, or speak well enough, or cook well enough drove me to make sure I could not only do those things, but do them perfectly! Not the healthiest way to bring out your perfectionist side.
Do you ever find yourself scrolling through Instagram and seeing all these “perfect” people, who have it all, and have it all together. SO IT APPEARS!!!! I have said it before, and I will say it again that nobody is posting about fighting with their spouse this morning before work. Nobody is posting pictures of their burnt meal from last night! Nobody is posting, well only the few honest ones, are posting that their kids were terrors this morning, it was a terrible morning before school, and their kid went to school looking like they slept in their clothes, and their hair wasn’t combed. Stop comparing yourself to all these super women that you’re following on social media! You know life is not always what people post! Comparison is the biggest thief of joy! I’m going to tell you right now that there’s not a woman out there that completely has it all together like it looks on social media, unless maybe they have a lot of help! My meals are always delicious, and my table always pretty, but I’m not put together in my appearance in order to accomplish all of that! Typically my hair is in a bun on top my head and I’m in sweats! It’s a struggle for me to be ready for a dinner party with everything being good, and perfect, and me looking presentable. Am I speaking to anyone out there today? Is anybody shouting amen!?
I believe if we’re always striving for perfection, we are missing the messy parts in the middle, the parts that make the experience worthwhile! If you’re always worried about your appearance, not stopping to smell the roses, or enjoy the raindrops on your face, or the snowflakes on your nose, look at what you’re missing! I know, I am a recovering perfectionist! I would never roll down my window to enjoy the fresh crisp air because it may mess my hair up! I hate the rain because again, it messes up my hair. Get my drift? I used to never indulge in sweet tasting things because of the perception that I had to look a certain way, and be a perfect certain size! There was never any room in my life for anything less than perfection! As I look back over my 46 years, I realize just how much fun I have missed out on! And boy, talk about uptight!
I heard this morning on a John Maxwell podcast that we don’t have to be THE best, we simply have to be OUR best! Wow!! We can’t be the best version of someone else anyway!! Let that sink in!! Why are we always comparing ourselves to others? Just be the best version of yourself! Be the healthiest, be good in the kitchen and learn new things, be the best wife, mother, husband, significant other, friend that you can be, and strive to do better every day, but don’t strive for perfection! Don’t miss out on the messy parts in the middle that make you your best! Life is a journey, life is full of lessons to be learned. We are all going to mess up! We’re all going to make mistakes! But that’s what makes us better!
I’m not going to be Joanna Gaines! I’m not going to be Betty Crocker! I’m not going to be that bodybuilder that’s competing on stage! They are all being the best version of themselves with the gifts, and the talents that they have. I must get good at using my gifts and talents and being better every single day to add value to other people, not trying to be like any of the people I named! Not striving for some appearance of perfection. Can I be Joanna Gaines like? Yes! Can I be Betty Crocker like? Yes! Can I be some version of that picture of health I stare at? Yes, but it will be my version of what that looks like with the things I am good at.
Let me shift gears for a minute and talk about your place of work. Are you part of a team? Have you ever found yourself trying so hard to be perfect because you were trying to be like somebody else on your team, or outdo them, or outshine them? Stop and think about why you were hired. You were hired because you have a talent or a gift that the leaders felt like you uniquely brought to the team. Those other people were brought on to the team for the same reason. There is no I in team. Every single position on the team has a purpose, and a role. Stop trying to be perfect, and better than anybody else on your team, and just work on your talents! The team will be more successful when all players just simply do their best toward a common goal. We all serve a purpose on the teams that we are on, and rewarded all the more when success comes from everybody adding their strengths. So stop being jealous if you think somebody else is getting more recognition, or if you think the bosses like them more. Just keep working on your skills, and what you bring to the table, and contribute to the team! In the end, everybody wins!
I hope today that if you find yourself down about yourself, down about your life, down because you don’t think you’re perfect, that you will stop chasing perfection. I hope that you will stop the game of comparison. Those things will steal your joy! Life is hard enough right now with everything we have to deal with! Don’t add unnecessary stress to yourself! Just wake up every day and strive to be your best. Strive to be your beautiful unique self, whatever that looks like. That’s all anybody should expect of you! That’s all you should expect of yourself. And when you mess up, because you will mess up, show yourself some grace! You did the best you could!
With love for you all,
Shauna
Shauna's Sisters 