Do we ever get to a point where we are just happy with the way we were made? We always seem to want what we don’t have. Brunettes want to be blonde, blondes want to be brunettes, people with straight hair want curly hair, people with curly hair want straight hair. Guys with strong legs wish they had larger shoulders and chests, and guys with large shoulders and chests wish they could get their legs stronger. My friends with long nice lean legs wish they had my waist, and I wish I had their legs. I have always had a curvy body, and short of being thin to a level of being unhealthy, I can’t change that. But, can I just say Lord thank you that Beyoncé, the Kardashians and J Lo brought back the Badonkadonk, the baby got back, the junk in the trunk, and made that sexy! Finally my backside is not looked at as a bad thing! At least in this decade.
I remember the summer between my 15th and 16th birthday deciding I was fat, and I needed to lose weight. I can’t remember how I did it, but I dropped quite a bit of weight that summer. I’m pretty sure I just didn’t eat. I was never overweight, just bigger boned, and the thin girls got the attention. I remember guys taking notice who had never looked, or paid attention to me ever before. I had always had a ton of guy friends, always, but at that point, they looked at me differently. They started to pay a little more attention to me, and compliment me more on my appearance, and I liked it. I do believe that translated to me that being thin=getting attention, being thin=beautiful.
What happened to the curvy woman being attractive. What happened to taking a girl out, and her actually eating food being more attractive than her not eating, and starving herself. What happened to a person being more attractive for their brains, their heart, and the kind of person they are? Being unique, compassionate, a person of character, a person full of joy wins every time in my book! I don’t care how nice looking you are if you treat people poorly, are selfish and only care about yourself, are fake, lack compassion, and think you’re better than everybody else, you are simply not attractive. Why don’t we stop spending our entire life chasing some idea of beauty to make ourself feel better. When you are uniquely you, when you love yourself down deep, and you are confident in the way God made you, you are the most beautiful person in the world! You shine! You influence! You help others! You spread love and joy!
Do you think it’s a coincidence that the beauty industry is a multibillion dollar industry? They play on everybody feeling like they don’t measure up. They play on everybody feeling like they need to do something to themselves to be beautiful. What I’m saying here is true, do you know how I know that? You see that picture of me up above? Yes that’s me. At around age 21 or 22. I was told I was fat, and shouldn’t be laying out in that bathing suit. You know something else? I felt fat. Wouldn’t get out of that chair without a cover-up. I let someone else convince me that I wasn’t beautiful, and I believed it to my very core. I was the most insecure person in the world. I had zero confidence. I didn’t have an ounce of fat on me back then either. Yes, my thighs were bigger, my butt was bigger, but I was born that way. I actually had somebody tell me during that timeframe that I needed to do whatever it took to work on my legs. You want to hear something crazy? I actually looked into liposuction. I really did! At 21 I was looking into plastic surgery and a way to get rid of fat.
Here is the thing. We have a choice in what we believe. Do you know that listening to other peoples’ description of you is a choice? Not loving ourselves is a choice. Not being content with our bodies is a choice. Life is so very short, why do we choose to live it obsessing over our appearance every single day!? Why don’t we obsess over being better people? Over helping others. Over growing. Over living a life of purpose. I am a firm believer in that we should treat our bodies well, and be as healthy as we can be most of the time, but that is not the only thing we should concern ourselves with.
I completely understand if we don’t take care for these bodies, they’re not going to get us through our entire life. However; I don’t believe we should out right hate our bodies, and what they look like either. That is such an unhealthy place to live. I will be the first to admit that I love the way my body looks when I am working out. When I feel strong physically, I feel strong mentally, but I don’t take it to an unhealthy level. It’s just as easy to get obsessed with working out, and looking a certain way, as it is to be unhealthy and overweight, and be upset about the way you look. We simply must look at our priorities, and what matters in life.
We have to find a place of moderation and of contentment, and live life a little more. How about we think a lovely thoughts, and see our beauty instead of thinking toxic thoughts, and seeing our ugliness. If you’re not living a life of hope, and with feelings of contentment, and your feelings of real beauty lies in shallow things, you may be chasing that fake version of beauty the rest of your life. Life has so much more to offer, and you have so much more to give. Don’t spend your entire life unhappy, so unhappy with yourself that all you do is try to attain this idea of beauty instead of living a life fulfilled and content. I’m not going to lie, I have a setting on my Facebook that I have to approve all pictures. Nobody can post pictures on my page without me approving. Yes, I am just as guity. That’s how vain and obsessed with appearance that we are. We have again let people convince us that we can only post pictures where we look amazing. And, I am preaching to the choir here, I already said it! My finger is coming right back at me!
Hear me out today. Somebody is going to say she is telling me that it’s totally okay, and I should be happy with myself even if I am overweight, and unhealthy. That is not at all what I am saying. I truly believe in health, and that means mind, body and soul. I believe in mental health, physical health and spiritual health as well. I am simply trying to get us to stop chasing somebody else’s idea of perfection, to truly love ourselves, and find true happiness. I am trying to get us to stop, and take a look at what we are chasing in life. John Maxwell said that we can’t live a better life if we don’t think better thoughts. If we are constantly feeling down about ourselves, and thinking we have to have all the latest procedures done on ourselves to be beautiful, and feel good, we are never going to be satisfied. Let’s spend a little more time looking in the mirror and loving ourselves. If there’s something you need to work on, work on it, but simply because your want to be a better version of yourself. If you need to eat healthier, drink more water, and move your body, do it to feel better and live longer, not only for appearance-sake.
We owe it to the next generation to dig deep and find a little more love, and not get so caught up with shallow things. We are teaching our sons and daughters to hate their appearance. We may not be saying it, but they’re watching us. Our actions speak louder than our words. I believe when we truly start loving ourselves, that love is going to spread, and we sure do need love like we’ve never needed it before!
With love for you all,
Shauna
Shauna's Sisters 