What if today was your last day?

I cannot seem to get away from this thought I have been having for weeks now. I just keep pushing it back in my mind, but it keeps rearing back up. Now that this virus is rampant and people are thinking about staying healthy, maybe it’s more in the forefront of our minds, but what if today was your last day? I’m not trying to be morbid, and trust me, I used to be the last person who ever wanted to discuss death, just ask my mom, but the real truth is, we’re all going to die. What is your legacy that you’re leaving behind? What would your obituary say about you? Do you think about what people will say about you? I have been lately, and to my friends who know I get these gut feelings, no, I don’t have one that I am going anywhere anytime soon. I just want to make sure I am leaving this world better because I was in it. I just want to make sure I made a difference in somebody’s life! I want to make sure I did everything God wanted me to do and put me here to do!

I hope my husband says, she wasn’t perfect but she sure tried to be. She tried to make our home happy and warm and inviting and special to everyone that entered. She was feisty and stubborn but she loved with all her heart and loved me more, even though I told her each day that I loved her more. I hope he says we grew, started to grow apart, but worked through some really tough stuff and came out better than ever! I hope he says we didn’t strive to complete each other, but rather to compliment each other.

I hope my step kids know that I loved them more than anything and that I tried really really hard to be a good step-mom and to never try to take their mothers place. I hope they say I taught them things only I could and made every birthday and holiday special for them. I hope they say I am who I am partly because of her!

I hope my mom says she was the best daughter ever and I was so proud of her. She was like me in so many ways and in ways she wasn’t, I pushed her to be different.

I hope my brother knows how incredibly proud I was of him and how much I wanted to be like him at times! I hope he says miles couldn’t keep our love and bond separated. I also hope he knows he was one of my favorite bosses and how much I appreciated all the neat places I got to go because of him.

I hope my dad knows that I loved him, despite how hard life was with him. I hope he knows I turned out a hard worker like him and a people person just like him.

I hope my friends know that I loved them larger than life and that although being my friend might have been emotional at times, that they were all the sisters I never had and I loved them all so very much and couldn’t have made it without them!

I hope my aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents know that I was who I was because of all of them and how incredibly proud I was to be a member of our amazing family!

I hope my bosses and co-workers knew I always tried to leave the work places better than I found them and that I worked hard to make us all successful.

I hope all who knew me was better for knowing me! I hope I motivated, cheered on and brought joy to all those who knew me! I loved you all so very much!

Those unborn babies I could have had. I loved you and would have been the best mommy in the world!

Lastly, I hope God knows I tried hard to serve him like he wanted and if today is my last day, I hope I walk through the pearly gates on streets of gold! I failed so many times, but I really tried despite how hard life was.

Do you know what legacy you’re leaving behind? If you’re not happy with the one you have been leaving, if you’re still breathing, you have a second chance to change and be better! Do it now, before it’s too late!

With love for you all,

Shauna