We have just ended a decade and another year. What will you choose to do with what you learned over the past decade to move forward to a new decade? Will you keep going just simply living your routine wishing things would be better? Will you fail to see the part you played in the mistakes you made over the past decade, or will you let those mistakes make you better, and strive to do and be different? I love the quote above, you can’t detox an entire decade in a day, be patient with yourself. It’s so true and I am not crazy enough to believe that just taking lessons learned from the past decade and applying them to 2020 is going to make me wake up some amazingly different person. It’s going to take one day at a time. One step at a time. One mistake at a time. One change at a time. One different decision at a time.
I have now been a step mom for a decade and boy let me tell you, that is not for the faint of heart. No matter how much you do and try and love, there will be some heartache along the journey. So do you just stop trying, which is what I am afraid to admit that I have done in recent months, or do you simply realize they will grow up someday and see your heart, and see your intentions and know that you really did love them and want nothing but the best for them? Keep being you if your intentions are pure. If you’re reading this and you have some things to work on, I urge you to do that. Don’t live with regrets! Take a serious look inward and see what you can do to be better. Like it or not, we made the decision to be a step-parent. Also, God put us in their lives for a reason. We have a great responsibility and can have a great influence on another life!
I have now been married for a decade. It’s not always a bed of roses, it’s work, but unless you’re being abused, I think you will find it’s worth the hard work. I have found that this past decade, I have let years of hurt and scars from my past creep into my relationship causing me to take things so very personal and almost believe lies, that in my mind, I made real. I have realized I have put my lack of self love on my husband and have been so incredibly needy of attention and praise that I should have never needed from him. I realized that I was doing things to try to earn a love that I already had and I drove myself absolutely crazy. In that, if he didn’t praise me for every single thing I felt I was doing, my feelings would be so hurt and I felt taken advantage of and unloved. But why!? I don’t have to be his savior in every aspect of life to prove his love for me! But I felt like that, and it seriously ate me to my core trying to be the best at everything! What I have realized over the past few weeks is that he was doing the best he could to be all I needed and live his life as well. Yet, as I look beside me, there he stands every single morning telling me he loves me more.
In the past decade, I have felt pulled in a million different directions, but that was my fault for trying to do too much! On a positive note, I learned over the past decade the importance of slowing down every single morning and spending just one hour on me and my goals and things I am grateful for. I begin taking the time to really learn to set my intentions for the day. I’m not pro at it, but I’m getting there and boy is my joy starting to return! I have found that taking the time first thing in the morning praying and mediating and reading the Bible and devotionals has really allowed me to grow in areas that I needed to grow in! It’s helped me stop being pulled in a million different directions and starting my day stressed before I ever even left the house!
Over the past decade, I had my dream job, lost my dream job, had one of the most stressful jobs ever, but then the decade ended in a job that I am so excited about and I feel is my calling! Funny how life turns around, but the growth and the lessons learned in all three of those things happening could not have come to me any other way! It’s hard when you’re right in the middle of what feels like horrible disruptions in your life that the best lesson comes shining through and you see the silver lining! The things that happen to us normally are happening FOR us, not to us! We must try to change our thinking somehow in those tough times of growth.
So what did I learn over the past decade that is going to make the new decade one that will be remembered more for the good things and not the hard things? I am learning self love! I am learning to budget and how little we can actually live on. I am learning I am stronger than I ever thought I was. I learned forgiveness, not only for others, but for myself! I learned to see things through different lenses! I learned that I want more in life and that’s okay. I learned that I have the ability to help others! I learned that God’s calling and purpose in my life is very different than what I ever believed it was! I learned to trust God in all things and he never fails! I learned who my real friends are! I learned I can’t do everything perfectly! I learned that no matter how hard life can be, I am still standing!
I hope you take some time to reflect on your past decade. I hope you see that you’re meant for more! I hope you see you’re stronger than you ever thought you were! I hope you realize you’re loved by many, flaws and all!
With love for you all,
Shauna
Shauna's Sisters 