Has God ever sent you a word? And kept sending it, and kept sending it?! Okay, I hear you!! That’s what I have been telling myself in the past couple of weeks. For an entire week the word compassion has jumped off pages at me. The next week, the word joy jumped off of everything I read. It’s been a rough few weeks. Death, family issues, a car wreck and on and on. Why does life have to be so hard sometimes?! I literally fell apart after the car wreck and then, I shook myself, and felt stupid! It was a car wreck, nobody is hurt, the car can be fixed, why am I being so stupid and emotional?! Okay, stop right here!! I am human and it’s been hard, I can only take so much in just a few days! Bring on the judgment about what I’m not, what I should be, what can I do better and more of and less of. It never stops! My lack of compassion for myself never stops!
I’ve always felt like I was a pretty compassionate person. If you would’ve asked me, I would’ve told you that I was. You know who I never had compassion for though? Myself! As I really search and study compassion, I’m finding, that I’m not the most compassionate person. If I can’t be compassionate with myself, how can I find compassion for you? If I’m judging myself, most likely I’m judging you as well! Why can I feel sorry and compassionate for a friend going through something I have gone through, or better yet, a complete stranger, and I can’t feel compassion for myself in the same situation?
Colossians 3:12 says in part “Therefore, as God‘s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Do you think that means have compassion and kindness, gentleness and patience for everybody else, but none for ourselves? I sincerely doubt that! Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we see all of our faults and call ourselves stupid when we mess up, or when we don’t look like everybody thinks we should, or act like everybody else thinks we should, or be the perfect friend, mother, wife, daughter, employee, etc.
I am a good cook, but when I have people over for dinner, I will sit and explain that something is dry or overly done or too this or too that. Why do I do that? I know how to cook! But I want to explain it away, explain all that is wrong with it every time, instead of taking a compliment about how great it is. I have a pretty good fashion sense thanks to my mother. Yet every time I receive a compliment I cannot say thank you. I explain away how old it is, or I just threw it together. I’m a good person, yet when I am not perfect in a situation, I take all the blame on myself for whatever happened, instead of seeing that just maybe I was having a bad day, or a bad week or month, and I handled the situation as best I could at that moment. No, I sit for weeks and beat myself up. Why not start showing the same compassion to yourself that you show for others?
Don’t let other people put levels of perfection on you so high that you will never reach them! If you are alive and breathing you are a work in progress! You haven’t seen your best days yet! Our world has become such a place that we almost gloat in peoples pain and sorrow when they fall, lose their job, go through a divorce, a home lost, anything instead of having any kind of compassion, and we do it to ourselves as well. We are all human, we are all striving and trying,
What I realize now, is that I’ve had people expect a level of perfection out of me throughout my life that was never humanly possible. So to me, perfection became a validation of love, a validation of acceptance, and the validation of my word. And I ran with that! Perfection to me became the only way I thought people would think I was great, and love me. I put a level of perfection on myself that no human being could ever live up to. Not even God expected that level of perfection for me, he didn’t make me perfect. Nobody was made perfect! What we have to realize is that when people put those levels of perfection and expectations on us, that is their imperfections and the way they feel about themselves coming through! I have put such a high level of perfection on myself that it is caused stress, worry, fear, anxiety and depression.
When we see someone who is trying to do something, instead of judging them for doing a bad job, let’s have compassion on them for what they’re trying to do! That coworker who really is great in a certain area, instead of being threatened and jealous of that, help them with that, help them grow that. That friend, who is trying to do something, instead of being jealous that they’re going to be something you’re not, have compassion for their journey and their goals, and help them! The old saying is so true that we rise by lifting others. That’s not just some great saying that you share on Facebook and Instagram, there is real meaning behind that, but, you also rise by lifting yourself! Having compassion for others will also help you have compassion for yourself! We are all on a journey together just trying to do the best we can! If you help others, you see greatness in others that you try to help develop, then maybe you see greatness in yourself that you try to develop as well. I promise, things in your life will begin to change!
So today, don’t see all that’s wrong about you. Pick yourself up, put a smile on your face and know that you are imperfectly you and we need YOU, just as God made you!! Joyful, compassionate, beautiful, broken YOU! Cause you know what!?!? There is a purpose for all your imperfections!
With love for you all!
Shauna
Shauna's Sisters 