This picture resonated with me the other day. As women, well, as humans really, it’s so easy to look at what others have and get envious or jealous. The mom at pick up in the big expensive SUV, who lives in the big house, with the designer clothes and the Louis Vuitton purses. It’s so easy to think that life must be so easy, all she has to do is get up, take her kids to school, go work out with her trainer, spend the day by the pool or lounging around the house reading books all day long. Man, as we go off to work we think that would be the life. Honestly, yes, maybe that would be the life, but you also don’t know what goes on behind closed doors either. Her life may be awesome, but she could also be miserable and lonely too because her spouse is never home, always working, or gone. We should not be so quick to judge from the outside what we think somebody else’s life looks like. Trust me from experience, you never truly know what goes on behind closed doors!
I believe we are planted where we’re supposed to be. Before I even go any farther, let me say this, if you are in an abusive relationship of any kind, you are NOT supposed to be planted there! Get out and get help! Do you know what the Bible says about that? Men are to love their wives like God loves us. Does God abuse us? NO! And no person who calls themself a Christian should be abusing their spouse! No person period should be abusing their spouse! Okay, off that soapbox. I just didn’t want anybody to read this and think wow, my spouse beats me and she thinks I am planted where I should be right now. Not at all what I am saying. What I am saying is maybe if we started focusing on where we’re planted right now, and putting some effort into it rather than putting effort into what we don’t have, things might be different for us. As for those women we see at school or at the restaurant or mall who we think have it all, you don’t know their story either. We don’t know what they’ve come from. We don’t know the people they can help from being so blessed. Don’t judge them either!
The house I live in right now is the smallest house I have ever lived in, but can I just say that it by far is the most loving home I have ever had! I love my house! Would I make some changes to it, yes, and we are little by little, but I love my home! My house feels like a home. It’s warm, it’s loving. It’s not a house of turmoil, fighting and hate! My daughter has friends here all the time. It’s more than just a structure, it’s a happy home! Would I like a bigger house? Some days I think I would, but I have had bigger houses and that doesn’t necessarily bring happiness. What brings happiness is who is in it and how much love is there. What if you started today doing things around your current house to make it warm and happy for your family? What kind of changes would you see? What if you start today to feel grateful for that home? What do you think would happen?
What about the car you drive? Are you grateful for that car? Do you take care of it? If you cannot find gratefulness for what you have, for the fact that you can get to work, you can get to the grocery store, you can get anywhere you need to go, you are not going to be blessed with a better one. Take care of what you have been blessed with first and some day, you will be blessed with something better. You don’t need a Mercedes, or BMV or Audi to say I have arrived anyway! I have a dream car like everybody else, but my Toyota Camry doesn’t say anything about my status in society, and who even cares about your status! You are amazing without that big expensive vehicle! If you need a vehicle to make yourself feel special, you need to dig deep down inside, there’s deeper issues that need dealt with! Now, when you are working hard, and you’ve come to a place where you can afford that car, get it and feel pride! You earned it!
What about that body you think you want? The lady you see all the time in the work out clothes and you think I want to look like that. I love looking at fitness magazines and I follow several trainers on social media. Maybe you do too, but do you ever find yourself looking at them and thinking man, must be nice to look like that. Do you know they weren’t born like that!? Yes, some people are born with better genes or natural athletic physiques, but they still have to work at it. They still have to make an effort to meal prep, eat right and work out. You could have that too if you worked for it, and really wanted it. Don’t sit and wish for it and think they have something you don’t because they look like that! They work really hard to have that strong healthy body!
I recently heard a story of a couple who have a terrible marriage, but the wife won’t leave because she likes her homes (yes I said homes), her cars, her trips, her stuff. I don’t judge her for anything, but man that sounds miserable to me. I don’t want that kind of life. A loving marriage with somebody who I enjoy being around means more to me. I haven’t always been the role model for relationships, but I water this one, I am grateful for this one, and although it’s not perfect, nothing rarely is, this is the best one I’ve ever been in! We work at it though! We feel blessed to have each other. Do we like each other every single day? No! Do we argue, sometimes, but we try. You have to put in the work and the effort to have the kind of relationship that you want to have! I love listening to Dani Johnson and reading her books. Her story inspires me! She tells how she was headed for divorce #2, how she treated her spouse poorly, her kids poorly until one day she woke up, and realized she had to put in the effort to have the relationship she wanted. She’s now been married 25 years. She began watering that relationship and turned it around! If you didn’t have the role models growing up, change that, and be the role models for the next generation! People just want to escape where they’re at when they haven’t even tried to make it better. Don’t think that other person is going to have what you’re looking for if you’re not wiling to work at a relationship. Trust me, again from experience, you’re going to end up right in the same relationship you left, with the same issues. A new person is not going to fix that.
You have total control over the life you want to live, but make it the life you want it to be. Grow where you’re planted. Don’t spend your time focusing on what others have, and what you don’t have. Work hard for what you want, but also be grateful for where you are! Did you know you can have anything you want if you focus on it, work hard for it, put the hard work in and make it happen? Live YOUR life! Don’t try to live somebody else’s and spend time trying to fit in. That’s not living, it’s shallow, and you will never find happiness or fulfillment living that life. Who cares who likes you. You need to like you! You need to be proud of the life you have cultivated for yourself! So today, let’s start watering , fertilizing and making our grass beautiful!
With love for you all!
Shauna
Shauna's Sisters 